Therapists and Mothers and Books

What does one do when the therapist treating one for PTSD asks one for their thoughts on a recent NPR interview with author and adoptive parent, Jennifer Gilmore?

You respond and say you have not heard of the book drawn from the authors open adoption experience nor have you heard the interview.  You also share your thoughts on open adoption and adoptive parent entitlement.

Later, you download the book from the Kindle store and when your therapist shares the link to the audio interview with you, you promptly ignore it.

However, you do start to read the book.   You find it easy to read (for now) but wonder if you will be able to get through it.  You tend to avoid such things.  You never saw Juno (and won’t).  You don’t read or view or support pro-adoption propaganda. Yet since this book came to you via your therapist, something inside you compels you to read it.   You ponder if there is a deeper meaning to the mention of it by your therapist to you. You also posit that reading it is research for your own book you are once again working on. You also ponder if you are once again over-thinking and reading too much into everything and are setting yourself up for a fall.

More to come.

9 Thoughts.

  1. Oh Suz…with all due respect to your therapist, I would NOT recommend listening to that interview. Cringeworthy.

  2. Ummm, I don’t have adoption-related PTSD and based on that interview I don’t think there I can read that book. A review book that’s sitting on my to-read shelf is And Then I Found You, which isn’t getting any media play, unfortunately, although it’s also a based-on-real-life novel. It’s by Patti Callahan Henry and here’s more info:

    I haven’t read it but after hearing the Fresh Air interview, I may crack it open just as an antidote.

    I don’t think your therapist had any hidden meaning for you although maybe his goal (I think it’s a him, right?) was to give you a heads up that this novel is out there and getting a ton of press so you wouldn’t be sideswiped by it.

    • I will actually ask him that question when I see next (any hidden meaning). He and I have an odd little connection. I mean that in a positive sense. He actually asked me about this book via email, not in person. He values my opinion on adoption issues, so I suspect that was part of the reason for the question, BUT since I am curious why he felt so strongly to reach out to me via email to ask, I will indeed discuss with him.

      • IMHO, he should be focusing on what you need, not what he needs, in terms of your opinion about a book or adoption issues. If he recommended the book/interview, it should have been for your good (which I doubt). Period.

  3. Not wanting to be the voice of cynicism but am being it nonetheless. There is a school of thought that it is the secret nature of adoption that caused all the trouble in the past and that open adoption will cure adoptions ills. We all know that while secrecy was a factor, it is the loss that is the problem. This is not fixed by open adoption. I would be exploring your therapists views in this regard. If he/she subscribes to the open adoption has fixed things theory, I’d be proceeding with caution.

    • Well versed on that school of thought UM and actually shared same with my therapist.

      I can assure you I would not see a therapist that is at ALL pro adoption. He shared it with me as he had heard it and it irritated him and wasn’t entirely sure why. Since I had not (and will not) listen to it, I could not really comment. I chose to share with him my thoughts on open adoption and that it is the latest social experiment. Moreover, the only persons qualified to tell us how the latest experiment is working are the children that have been forced to live it. Mothers are clearly not gaining yet adoptive parents (as always) are.

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