Planned Parenthood, Literally

The recent public outrage over the  government pulling funding for Planned Parenthood has generated massive amounts of support for the organization. Much of this support was garnered in the sharing of personal stories detailing how the organization had helped the writer. Not surprisingly, I have my own Planned Parenthood story. Even less surprising is that it ties to adoption.

In summary: they helped me to avoid pregnancy (by providing affordable birth control) and when I did not avoid it (due to my own poor judgment) they helped me decide NOT to abort my daughter.

I could recite the story. I could describe the pamphlet they gave me that described the process of abortion.  I could tell you how I felt when they told me about abortion (completely without judgment) and when they told me about parenting (sadly, the only option they did not tell me about was adoption and I find that prophetic in its own right. If only I had known then what I know now…).

I won’t recant all those stories.  I will however ask you to read some older posts wherein I discuss my experience with Planned Parenthood.

In all your reading, remember this, they influenced me in my decision to NOT abort my child.  While I have regretted her adoption for the last 25 years, I have never once regretted her existence on this earth.

A Parody of My Friend Will

Running Back

Thank you, Planned Parenthood for  my planned parenthood.

In the living years

Since my dad has been moved to hospice care, many friends and family have told me to “make peace” with my dad. They state this to me with the knowledge of the very difficult childhood I had with my father. The final act on that painful relationship was the surrendering of my daughter to a stranger adoption.  I wont deny it. I carried intense bitterness and anger towards my father for a very long time. There were even times when I contemplated killing him (I am not kidding).

Fortunately, getting away from my home (by leaving a second time after my daughter was lost to adoption), was one of the best things that could have ever happened to me. It gave me perspective. It got me out of the war zone and allowed me look at the inside from the outside, a step away.

The song Living Years by Mike and the Mechanics was released in 1988. Two years after my daughters birth and surrender.  It was pivotal to my awakening and forgiving of my dad.  As a parent, then, even one not raising her child, I was able to see my dad in a different light. In reflecting on my own parental crimes (abandoning my daughter to strangers) I reflected on my dad.  The song remains on my top list of my profound listening choices even today.

I love you Daddy.

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