Check out Lost Mothers

Check out this new blog.  I will admit that I dont read many these days, at least not many that are adoption related, but I will definitely add this one to my Google reader. Some of my favorite peeps and writers are contributors.

About Lost Mothers

Lost Mothers “blog was created by lost mothers, for lost mothers, as a place to exchange ideas and opposing views in a respectful atmosphere through discussion of current events and story-telling. While each mother has a unique experience and their own opinions, in general, we each support Adoption Reform, Adoptee Rights, and Family Preservation. Most of the contributors here have their own personal blogs where they also write about adoption issues. This blog is a place for mothers to share the best of their own writing and combine all our voices into one strong and unique chorus.”

Contributors:

Cassi Bella Ward
Carlynne Hershberger
Lynn Johansenn
Lorraine Dusky
Nicole Steenstra Darr
Priscilla Stone Sharp
Claudia Corrigan D’Arcy

Follow them on Twitter, FaceBook or consider submitting your words for publication.

Blessings [Book]

Eileen gave a great review of the Emily Giffin book Where We Belong. If you haven’t read the comment  you can do so here.

I want to build on her comment and also the previous post by sharing my thoughts on a topically related book, published in 1989. The book is titled Blessings and is written by author Belva Plain.

Have you read it? I know at least one of my blog readers has (as you told me about this book!).

I found it to be a stronger story than Where We Belong with more accurate depiction of the mothers experiences and feelings.  The betrayal she feels, the sense of abandonment, isolation in maternity home, and more ran in parallel to my own. Where I felt the author got a wee bit off track is in the reunion, particularly in the reconnection of Jennie to Peter (natural father). It was very sweet and likely made for a great book/best seller but I struggle to see such events happening in real life.

Daughter finds Mother. Mother rejects daughter upon reunion (well, sort of, she puts restrictions on their contact). Daughter finds Father.  Father (that abandoned the mother during pregnancy) is all sugar and spice and kind enough to broker the relationship not only with the Mother and Daughter but with Mother’s fiance that she is estranged from due to the secrets in her past and the reunion.  Ehhhh, really?

I will offer that the scenario did cause me to crave more mothers sharing experiences with the natural fathers (or not) upon reunion.  My own story is quite complicated and makes for a much better story than Belva crafted. Ha.  Perhaps some day I should actually write that story, instead of bragging about it, hey? To date I have refrained from sharing much of the details thinking that the story is my daughters story and she should know it first.  However as the years go by (approaching ten since reunion) I feel less and less obligated to keep it wrapped up so tightly.

Of Blessings, Publishers Weekly says “…the various social strata of Jewish life; the complexities of family relationships; the consequences of following a deeply felt social conscience. At 36, Jennie Rakowsky is a lawyer specializing in defending the rights of impoverished women. She is about to marry Jay Wolfe, a widower with three young children, partner in a prestigious Manhattan law firm and, like Jennie, committed to saving the Green Marsh wildlife sanctuary from unscrupulous developers. Jennie’s well-ordered life is shattered when the illegitimate daughter she gave up for adoption at birth, now a personable but strong-willed girl of 19 called Jill Miller, appears on Jennie’s doorstep. To complicate matters, Jill’s father also reappears and creates profound misconceptions that force Jay and Jennie to cancel their wedding. The author stretches an awkward subplot concerning mob-connected real estate developers far too thin, but her mixture of romance, suspense, and deeply felt familial conflicts should leave her fans well entertained.”

Go read it and come back and share your thoughts. You can buy it on Amazon. It is available via paper back and Kindle.