Lady Bits and Q's

“Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple” – Dr. Suess

Saw the lady doctor today. You know, the doctor that checks your lady bits?  Its been a while. I have been a bad bit checker. Chalk this up to my divorce, house sale, moving, etc. My own personal health tends to take a back seat on my ride of life. I am working on improving that.

Anywho, bits checked out just fine.

But I must state, again, it never gets any easier answering questions on medical forms.

For example, the question “How many children do you have?” consistently sends me reeling. I have answered that question a gazillion times over the years (always honestly, I have three children) but it always sets me off kilter.

Answering (honestly or dishonestly) tends to lead to additional questions.

“How old are your children?” the lady bit checker doctor asks.

I gasp for air for a second, stutter and respond.

“24, 12 and 7”

“Wow, quite an age range” remarks lady bit checker.

“Yeah.” I mutter as I secretly pray the questions stop there.

They do. 

Questions turn to my rather frightening family history of colon cancer and my own recent scare. My breathing gets easier. My heart rate slows.

Sad when you are more comfortable talking about colon cancer than your children.

Thank you adoption.

8 Thoughts.

  1. I’m sorry Suz, I go through the same thing… the hardest part was when I was pregnant and answering those questions. Thinking about you always!! Cathy R. <3

  2. Oh yes, the dreaded “How many children do you have?” I answer “two” as my blood pressure goes up. “Do you have high blood pressure?” they ask, I say “No, white coat syndrome” but I think; no,just a fear of questions.

  3. I only have one and that has been a real song and dance for the past many years. I also hate the question “how many live with you?”

    I write down or say one and make up the rest, shaving years off my son’s age so I don’t get a strange look. I even made a name up once before we reunited. It is probably in my chart!

  4. What POSSIBLE reason would they need to know ‘how many live with you’???
    Honestly, put down, ‘none of your effing business’…grrrr
    Liz, agreed a billion percent, F u adoption!!!
    Hugs all around today…

  5. Oh yeah, I LUUUV these questions. I was at the bank with my mother and the banker turned to small talk about my sister-in-law and her children (by some fluke the banker actually knows my sister-in-law and nephews). She quickly started asking:

    “how many kids do YOU have?”
    “how old is your son?”
    “OH MY GOSH! How old where you when he was born?!”
    “is your son close with your nephews/his cousins?”

    I’m pretty good at giving vague answers, so here’s how I responded:

    “one”
    “27”
    “young”
    “no, he lives out of state”

    My mother was very uncomfortable with this whole conversation and she didn’t say much, which is very unusual since she typically has diarrhea of the mouth when she is nervous (which is all the time). Before I was reunited my answer was always that I don’t have any children (for small talk discussions, that is; for medical questions I always answered truthfully). I mean, what else was I going to say when engaging in chit-chat with a stranger? Post-reunion I answer truthfully, but I leave out the details and direct the conversation back towards the questioner – pretty easy to do since most people prefer to talk about themselves. Or maybe I prefer people who talk about themselves and avoid people who want to ask about me (?) – hmm, I think that’s it.

    Anyway, now I know why I begain avoiding my family after reunion; the triggers are magnified 1000% and I really don’t like to talk about this with them or in their presence.

  6. I so understand this…just in a different direction. Anything healthwise (I’ve had a very minor heart issue awhile back and also some other health issues recently), the question that’s the kicker for me is, “Is there a history in your family of ‘said issue’?” What do you say to that? The answer always is, “I’m adopted.” (AKA – I don’t know!) Their response, “I’m sorry.”

    While I’m somewhat used to the family history question, the answer is never without pain as I am reminded that I do not have a relationship with any of my birthfamily…don’t even know them very well at all…and have no sweet clue (other than a couple obvious health issues) about the health history of my biological family.

    The even big kicker? THEIR ANSWER: “I’m sorry.”

    Sorry for what…that I don’t know? That I’m adopted? That you asked? That adoption is something to be ‘sorry’ about?

    It kinda sucks.

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