â€œThe magic of first love is our ignorance that it can ever endâ€ – Benjamin Disraeli
Was blog surfing this evening and stumbled over to Birth Mother, First Mother Forum.
Read this story shared by Lorraine. Wow. It made me cry.Â It could have been my story. Difference is that the man she speaks of, in my life, IS my daughters father. Wow. That brought back memories.
Some day I really want to blog more about my daughters father. For years I was choked up with it all. Respecting him, respecting her, respecting my ex husband. Respecting people who did not respect me. Living in my fantasy world of what ifs and could bes and should bes and dreaming of the intensity of a love long gone.
These days I am surrounded by the love of a man with whom I can discuss my daughters father freely. My fiancÃ© is not threatened, he does not look away, he looks at me warmly, seeing the love and loss in my eyes and hearing it in my voice. He reaches out and hugs me. He allows me to talk. He allows me to reminisce, he allows me to be all nostalgic and tell him things about my daughters father I have never told another living soul.
And he still loves me.
And for that I love him more than he will ever know or understand.
But yeah, go read this: