Happy 29th Birthday!

Today is her 29th birthday.

29.

I find it hard to believe yet I also struggle with the fact my second child will soon be 18. Kids do grow up so fast.

I hope she has a happy day with friends and family she loves.

It has been a few years since I did anything for her birthday (donations, dedications, gifts to her). I do not plan to do anything today.

That is a good thing. The days of spending my day in bed, planting trees, holding a snot rag and grasping for walls have passed. Today is much like Mother’s Day was a few days back. The emotional intensity over the loss of her and lack of reunion with her is gone. Resting in the place I now find a dull sadness.

Happy Birthday.

Read the posts that show up beneath this one in Related Posts to see how things used to be.  

4 Thoughts.

  1. (((((((((Suz))))))))) speaking from my own experience, she is thinking of you, even if she consciously doesn’t realize. I promise.

  2. Sending you much love Suz. I also hope she has a good birthday, and that one day soon she is able to open her heart to you and her brothers.

    I was there a week ago, on the 8th. While reunited, and communicating, he avoids me on his birthday and mother’s day which this year was two days after his bd. It’s wrong for a mother to have to withhold expressing her love on the day she brought her child to life. Just one of the gifts adoption brings into your life…

  3. Hi Suz, happy anniversary of your first “birth” day. you are in a healthy place, I’m so happy for you. On my daughter’s birthday, I go out and buy myself a dozen or two dozen roses.
    There was no celebration joy hope future then. But there is now and I treat myself well on her birthday. I hope your day is as lovely as can be-you don’t get to share a gift with her but believe me you are a gift to us.

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