Happy 26th

Wishing my daughter a happy 26th birthday.  I hope she has a wonderful day. Will be thinking of her more than usual today.

I hope her girlfriend and other friends and family take her out for a wonderful dinner in Brooklyn and shower her with all the love she so rightly deserves.

I made two donations in honor of her. Whereas years past, I would send her gifts or donate to causes she would support, her request for no contact and gifts has changed my approach. I now donate to causes that work to change adoption or prevent it all together.

This year I was happy to make a small donation to the Adoptee Rights Coalition and a Young Mothers Dream.

Happy birthday to all.


5 Thoughts.

  1. Happy Biethday to Amber! Hugs to you, You seem happy and more at peace these days, at least, in regards to this. As I said; hugs!

    • Interesting you note that Liz. I had a long conversation with a friend (easter house adoptee/in reunion) the other day about the acceptance that comes with years of well, this stuff. friend also has an less than ideal reunion and she stated she has gotten to a point where she hardly thinks about it or her mother. I could relate and we then talked about whether this was a good or bad sign. I know my friend Psychobabbler will say it is acceptance and healthy but I must admit there is a part of me that feels bad that I well, feel less. Not sure that makes sense.

      • I am in a similar place, acceptance, which I feel is healthy, and I am content with my life in a way I have never been before. I think of this whole reunion journey, for me, as a necessary healing process. All of those buried feelings, shame, guilt, grief, anger, outrage, poor self-esteem, for me, were a festering wound that reunion, and the ensuing realities of it, both the pleasant and unpleasant, lanced and the poisons have slowly oozed out of me, tear by tear, emotion by emotion. I see it in J & G too, and I am relieved to see the pain lifting ,and the relief of acceptance and a sense of wholenes return to each of us. I have wondered too, if I should feel worse for not feeling worse about the way things are, especially with G. Each time that question enters my thoughts, I stop and look around me at this wonderful life I have, then I pray for continued peace and love for J, G, and myself.

        As a Buddhist, I believe in taking solace in the present moment, no matter what may be happening in my reality. I like to say that , “I am high on reality”. I believe all parts of the journey, pleasant and unpleasant, have value and add depth and richness to this journey that is my life.

  2. Yes, it is acceptance. And it is healthy. And it’s also normal to feel some initial pangs when you recognize the change in how you are processing it all. It seems like it’s less, because it’s not in the in-your-face consciousness. But it’s still very much there, operating as part of the fabric of who you are in this world.

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