Missed it (almost)

I missed it. I actually missed it.

A bit surprising to me, yet not. Records were opened in January 2015 as previously mentioned and I missed it. Of course, I know the reason I missed it is that I was dealing with my sons TBI. I missed it for a good reason. By that I mean I was focusing on the child that needs me versus obsessing over the one that does not. However, I am still sort of surprised I missed it.

Now I am caught up. Thanks to Eileen mentioning she requested and received her daughters original non certified un-amended birth certificate from Illinois. Literally within minutes of reading Eileen’s message I had downloaded the form, completed it, copied my id (which intentionally still carries exact same name as I had at time of surrender), enclosed a check, signed, sealed and stamped. It will go in the mail tonight.

I am a bit annoyed at how pleased this makes me. Perhaps it makes sense. I will finally have proof my daughter was born to me. Yes it will have my name, her original name, lack her fathers name, etc. It makes me smile. I find that sort of sad. I am 47 y ears  old. My daughter will be 29 this may and I am finally able to see her original non certified OBC that says I am her mother.

If you are a mother or father that surrendered a child in IL, visit this link and download the form to request your child’s certificate. You will need to provide a check for $15 and a copy of your ID.

” Birth Parent Request for a Non-Certified Copy of an Original Birth Certificate – This form is to be submitted along with a copy of a valid government issued photo identification (ID) and a check or money order for $15 made payable to Illinois Department of Public Health.

Ohio Opens (Sort Of)

Lots of posts today celebrating the partial opening of the Ohio birth and adoption records. I am going to post links for those that qualify. I am also going to remind folks that partial opening is not really a celebration. Dirty bills that have restrictions (often called “mother may i”) is not something to celebrate. Allowing some adoptees to get their OBCs but restricting others (either due to age or by bill limitations allow mothers to refuse to be identified) is not something to rejoice — least not to me. Treat all adopted citizens as equal. Why is that so hard?

And while we are on the topic, what is going on in Illinois? Several months ago I got a jubilant email from Melisha Mitchell referencing efforts to allow mothers to get their surrendered child’s OBC. I want mine. I found my daughter. I know who she is, where she works, where her adoptive parents live, yet I am not allowed to have a copy of her un amended birth certificate identifying her as my daughter.

I have not looked lately at Illinois. Frankly I expected to get an email from Melisha. Has anything hapepened? Have I missed it?

So yeah, if you are Ohio born and surrendered, check out the new law.

Legalized Lies – CO OBC

It is rumored at some point in the future the State of Illinois will allow mothers who surrendered their children to adoption to obtain a copy of the original birth certificate. I am anxiously waiting the day, as I will surely be one of the first to file.   When Illinois changed their laws to allow adoptees to get it, I did write her and ask if she would consider getting it and giving me a copy. I even offered to pay fees, etc. There was no reply. As such, I am thrilled the law will soon deem me worthy of having proof that my daughter exists and I gave birth to her.

Yet even as I say that, I wonder what it will say. I know what I expect it to say.

  1. My name
  2. Her original name
  3. Her DOB, time, doctor, etc.
  4. My signature
  5. The address of the maternity home (I remember being terrified to put my parents)
  6. No one listed for father.

The lack of the father name is due to Illinois law that required him to be there to sign that he was indeed the father. This was rather difficult to do considering I gave birth 1000 miles from home. He did however sign surrender papers – pre-birth. The agency made sure to take care of that and paid to fly him to Illinois and sign away his rights to his unborn child. While his name is on the surrender papers we all know those documents will never see the light of day.

I am very confident in my expectations. I was sitting in my hospital bed, in a Johnny coat (why didn’t I have pajamas?). The hospital official stood to the right side of my bed, towards the foot and was writing on a clipboard. I remember signing the papers largely because I was horrified when the official told me the father would be listed as “unknown” or blank or something equally awful. This shocked and saddened me so much it seared the memory onto my brain much like a branding iron on cattle. Not only did I know the father, I loved him deeply at the time and for many years following that.

I am very curious if Illinois will be legit in releasing the OBC’s copies to natural mothers. I am inclined to think they will be. It was 1986 not 1967. For my daughter’s birth year, I expect honesty. However, I may be fooling myself.

I question because a friend of mine, a Colorado resident, recently got her child’s OBC following a change in the Colorado law. Her child was born in 1967 (Baby Scoop era for those who like the term). She was excited to finally get proof of her child’s birth and applied as soon as the law was official.

It arrived this week.

Imagine her surprise when she gets it and finds a name that is not hers listed as the mother. The name has her fake name from the maternity home, a middle name and a last name that is not at all familiar to her. I cannot imagine how she felt when she opened that envelope. I realize most readers will not be surprised by this. I cannot say I am surprised as much as I am angry and sad for her. How dare they!

To be so elated to be granted a document all other mothers are entitled to only to find her own name is not even listed! The agency or someone forged this legal record. Yes, yes, I know it was done but this is the first time I have had a friend experience it.

She seems to be handling it relatively well. I am not so sure I would be if I were in her shoes

Have any other Colorado mothers received your child’s OBC? Was it doctored or correct? My friend and I would like to know.