Adoption Reform

Let’s Talk Collateral Damage : Spouses/SO’s

- Suz 1 Comment

Continuing from the previous thread on Collateral Damage and the impact to first family, today I want to chat about spouses and significant others.

Spouses/Partners

Some thoughts and questions for consideration:

Forming Relationships – How has surrendering your child(ren) to adoption impacted (or not) your ability form healthy marital or loving relationships?

Honesty in Relationships – Have you told your spouse or partner about your spouse or partner about your child? If so, did you tell them early in your relatinoships or later? How did you go about telling them? What was their response?

Pre Surrender Counseling – Were you counseled pre-birth about the possible impact surrender would have on your future romantic relationships? Were you told to keep your experience a secret?

Extended Family – How does your spouse/partner feel about your experience? Do they share with their friends or family or is it a secret kept between the two of you?

Other – Anything else you wish to share about your marriage/partnershps and how adoption and/or reunion may have impacted it?

Thank you for your consideration.

Zika, Pregnancy, Winterson

- Suz 1 Comment

This is not necessarily adoption related. More like reproductive rights, which for me go hand in hand, so it may be.

What the solution isn’t: the parallel of the Zika and HIV viruses for women

It is worth the read and the pondering. Particularly passages like this:

“Sudden outbreaks of uncommon diseases do not lend themselves to easy solutions. However, there is one solution we know will not work: resting the responsibility for slowing the Zika virus in the wombs of women.” – Susana T. Fried and Debra J. Liebowitz

And this:

“In response to the outbreak, some countries, for instance, Colombia, Ecuador, and Jamaica, have recommended that women delay pregnancy. This is eerily reminiscent of abstinence education as a primary means of HIV prevention. Indeed, abstinence will prevent sexually transmitted HIV just as remaining “unpregnant” will prevent Zika from causing fetal harm if it is indeed causing microcephaly. Neither solution is grounded in the realities of women’s lives.

The ability to control when, where, with whom, and under what conditions to have sex is, for many women, the exception, rather than the rule. Women’s ability to delay pregnancy requires that they have control over their bodies, their sexuality, and their reproductive decision-making. Yet, some women, in the Americas and elsewhere, have no such control” – Susana T. Fried and Debra J. Liebowitz

While you are at it, read this somewhat (sort of) related article as well. It is a few months old but worth the read, reminder and hey, Winterson is always good to read.

When unmarried mothers were blamed for everything

by author and adoptee Jeanette Winterson

Photo credit: Joanna Fisher

Good Adoptee in Cleveland

- Suz

I will admit up front I know zero about the Adoption Network Cleveland and their conference. A friend whom I respect shared this on her Facebook wall. I am thereby assuming they are a decent org.

Even if they aren’t (honestly), I encourage all in the area to try and see The Good Adoptee which is being performed as part of the Adoption Network Cleveland annual conference. It appears you do not need to register for full conference to see the performance. Double check that, I could be wrong.

I saw this play in NYC (and shamefully, never wrote my thoughts on it, more to come on that) and really enjoyed. I say enjoyed in the sense that I appreciated adoptee Suzanne Bachner excellent playwriting skills and her willingness to share her story. The actress who plays Suzanne is also pretty fabulous.

Trailer for The Good Adoptee below. Find info on the  Adoption Network Cleveland annual conference at their site.