It sometimes feels wrong to want that. To hope for it. To expect it. After all, what right to I have? I didn’t raise him. I didn’t kiss his boo boos. I didn’t buy his new school shoes. I can’t help but to imagine huim calling his other mother today. Or taking her out to dinner and I don’t want him to stop doing that. I left him with strangers for 17 years, gave them all my responsibilities and all my joys, and now I want a mother’s day card? – Claud, Musings of the Lame
I could write my own post. I wont. I will share Claud’s post with you as it sums up in many ways my own Mothers day. In a word, for me, conflicted. The last few paragraphs could have been written by me.
I encourage you to read it.
Mothers Day: Still a Disappointment
Posted in: Relationships, Triggers, Uncategorized
findingmaddy
05/13/2010
Ya know…I really, really wanted a xmas card. surely xmas spirit and all that would merit a card in the mail to your first mother??? na…didn’t happen…i wore out my shoes walking to the mailbox in December…I’m only a tiny bit miffed. A mother’s day card was never going to happen since the xmas spirit didn’t issue a card….
suz
05/13/2010
FindingMaddy – I am going to guess (based on my own feelings) that what you really wanted was not a stupid card but to be thought about, recognized, viewed as someone who matters (or the very least exists) in your child’s life. It wasnt the material card but rather something more valuable. A kind thought.
findingmaddy
05/13/2010
Too right! a kind thought, a small amount of effort, peace, love and hope. She always signs her emails with love but it makes me wonder if it’s meant? Actions speak louder than words and the actions are short on the ground with her…Yes I know she’s a young adult…self-focused and all that..double sigh… especially as we are now back into pullback/silence mode.
Margie
05/13/2010
(((((((hug)))))))
I got nothing else, just wish everything in this world were different.
Judy
05/13/2010
*hugs* from me too, Suz.
HeatherRainbow
05/15/2010
Yeah, Mother’s Day sucked for me this year too. This is the first year that my daughter knew she was adopted. I know it must be really hard on her, but from the crap I get from the people that are raising her, she wants nothing to do with me. It’s sad, cause I can’t even celebrate my own Mother, cause it’s so painful to me.