Let Us Talk Caseworkers Again

So let us discuss these caseworkers shall we? I have some questions. There are hobgoblins scampering around my mind making me a bit antsy.

What are these caseworkers (Easter House or other) afraid of?

As I have mentioned in the past and here on this blog, before I found my daughter I was contacted by a woman claiming to be my daughter. She was not. She was scamming me and attempting to get money out of me. I realized early in our email conversations that there was something fishy about her. At this point in my life I had learned to trust and follow my instincts. In doing so, I contacted Colleen Rogers, my Easter House caseworker.

I had hoped that Colleen would help me rule this person out as my daughter. If it wasn’t my daughter, I understood Colleen would not tell me WHO my daughter was but I did expect her to tell me if the person was scamming me.

Colleen refused to answer any of my questions. Instead, she recited back to me in a weird distorted voice “your daughter went to a good family…your daughter went to a good family”. Uh, okay, yeah, I get that but that is not what I am asking you. Can you tell me if THIS person, THIS family is the person she went to?

Silence except for the Stepford Wife version of “Your daughter went to a good family”. Your daughter went to a good family. Seriously, WTF?

The conversation ended. I had no further information.

In the years since I have snail mailed Colleen. Even sent her a copy of The Truth About The Kurtz Network of agencies.

In my best Phil Collins voice I offer to that…”there is no reply at all”. By this time I had found my daughter. I knew her amended name. her adoptive parents names, address, even their social security number.

What harm would Colleen be doing by talking to me? Who is she protecting?

I have wondered if these folks were bound by some social worker code of ethics. Yet I have no proof they were licensed social workers. So with that, I ask again…

What are these caseworkers so afraid of?

What damage, and to whom, will they do if they sit down with a mother like me and discuss what happened to us years gone by?

When Caseworkers Respond

Remember the mom of a few days ago that expressed interest in meeting with the Easter House caseworker?

She wrote a letter and requested a meeting.  Below is the response she received via certified mail.  Names have been removed by me by design.  It feels important to note that this mother has already found her child and is in reunion.

I will let you comment before I share mine. Note I have the mothers original letter as well.  I will ask for her permission to post that.  I can assure you it was very non threatening, non worthy of a being told she needs mental help.

Edited 5/9 to add mothers letter. I blurred out certain identifying information of mother or her family.  Remainder is unchanged.  

Click for larger view.
Click for larger image.

Contacting Your Caseworker

A mother/friend who surrendered her child to Easter House (same agency I surrendered my first born to) has written me a few times asking about contacting caseworkers.  I have shared a few thoughts with her privately and will share mine with you in a later post but I am curious what your thoughts might be on this?  If you are a mother that surrendered your child, what thoughts do you have (if any) about your caseworker?  Do you have any desire to talk with them now?  If so, what might you want to know?

I have written about my Easter House caseworker, Colleen Rogers, and her refusal to answer my requests for contact.  Sufficie it to say, my short answer to the below, is hell to the yes, I want to talk  with her. I will explain why in a future post. For now, what might you offer to my friend below?  (Note, she has given me permission to share this.)

It’s me another mother who surrendered my daughter to Easter House and adoption.

I have found my casedworker!
And she is the one who had “signed” the ad back in 1983.
I have sent her a letter, she lives less than an hour from me.  I am asking to meet with her to talk.
I also sent her a copy of the ad I sent you. Evidence that I know who she is/was.
I told my therapist, and a couple close friends that I’d found her and hope to meet with her.
Their responses were guarded, and the friends said, “what do you want to ask her?” The therapist said he does not think this will lead to serenity or acceptance, but do what I must.
I have been sitting with that question, and I thought I would ask you.
If you had the opportunity to meet again with the caseworker who claimed to me there for you, to sort out your problems, and then showed up at the hospital (uninvited by me) and came to my house with papers the same day I left the hospital,  what would you want to ask, or to say to her?
Any thoughts?
It is a strong need for me to meet face-to-face with the person who was there, at that life-changing time, whether she remembers me specifically or does not remember me.