Nearly every adoption blogger I know is writing about the adoptive mother that returned her adopted son to Russia by putting him on a plane alone.Â I wont comment much or share much as there are writers, bloggers, activists far more educated on the matter than I am. You can hunt them up.Â (You could also start here).
What I will say is what annoys me, again, about this situation (for it is not the first to occur by any means) is that I am not surprised at the least and I am too confident it will happen again.
Was this adoptive mothers behavior situational or dispositional? Did she just invent a brand new crime or is she living what she has been taught by a society that finds her actions acceptable?
I believe too many people will view itÂ as dispositional and view her as the single solitary evil doer in this scenario.Â Americans will gasp and shriek and say “I would never do that” and in their next breath they will suggest to a young mother that she should give up her child to strangers.
At its core, how is THAT any different from what the adoptive mother did? Why do we condone, encourage even, that aÂ mother, three days post partum, hand her newborn over to strangers and walk away yet we find horror in this adoptive mother putting her adopted son on a plane alone bound for parts unknown?
By no means do I wish to downplay the horror experienced by this child. Rather what I want to highlight is that this is just a deeper shade of the black.Â A more bitter tasting sip of the same adoption koolaid. Someone forgot the extra scoop of sugar. Oh, yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah.
Each one of usÂ (and I include myself here) that has ever thought or endorsed current adoption policy as a good thing is complicit in this woman’s actions. Every time we congratulate a new adoptive mother on her recently acquired bundle of joy we are contributing to the problem. Every time we tell an infertile couple they can “just adopt” we feed the machine that put that boy on the plane to Russia.Â Every day that goes by that we do nothing about sealed records and closed adoptions and renaming and “as if born to” we are fortifying the very things which we proclaim to be disgusted by.
Where are the pro-lifers here? Why aren’t they screeching?Â If this adoption, like so many, was ever thought to be a”paper pregnancy” then I believe this mother just had a late term abortion.
I am disgusted, yes. I feel for that poor child, his original family, but I also feel for the legions of mothers and children yet to be afflicted with theÂ disease we call adoption.
We need to look beyond this one mothers crimes and look at the system as a whole, piece by piece. Keep what is good and what works but throw out and never replace what is broken.
This mother will be forgotten in a few weeks. The hubbub will quiet down and the sickness will continue to spread across America.
None of us is immune. Not me (clearly), not you, not your daughter or your son.
The next abandoned child could be one of yours.Â Which adoption plane will he or she be put on?