Stealing Roll Call Memes

It is said the best ideas are stolen and in the case of this post, I must agree. I yanked this from This Woman’s Work who yoinked it from Adoption Talk (two fabu ladies you should add to your feed reader).

I have been a bad blogger for a multitude of reasons but I hope to rectify that this week.  For now, maybe you will inspire me by playing along.

Whether you’re a new reader, or have been hanging around for a while, tell us about yourself. Where are you? What would you most like to read about here?

I’d be interested to hear what interests you here at my blog.  I also love writing prompts. If there is something you want to know, something you always wanted to ask me, share or write about, shoot. I will do my best to answer.  I reserve the right not to in the event doing so would reveal something hurtful to my daughter, her father or other loved ones in my life.

And thanks Dawn and Melinda.

23 Thoughts.

  1. As a mother who adopted from China, I read a wide array of first parent blogs because we will likely never have the opportunity to meet or know anything about my daughter’s first parents. I want to have some context, some understanding, some compassion as I navigate the “We don’t know for sure, but…” with my daughter. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and emotions.

  2. I’m an adoptive mother who adopted from our country’s own social welfare department, I’m in the Philippines, born and raised here. I read you because you are the closest I can get to my son’s mother. We will most likely never cross paths with her, but I want to know the thoughts, emotions, rationalizations… I guess… And majorly, you are about the closest I could get to my own mother who left me when I was six.

  3. I’m mostly a lurker but I’ll try to come out from hiding more often 🙂 I’m a foster mom and adoptive mom (from foster care) in Saint Louis. I’ll read anything you post! I think that it’s valuable for everyone to be aware of the serious and ugly issues involved in the adoption industry-not just everyone in the “triad” but society as a whole. It’s a human rights issue, a women’s issue and a child advocacy issue. I really appreciate your honesty and transparency about your own journey. It is difficult to read about the injustices that were committed against you when you were pregnant with your daughter; but I really feel that by doing so you have prevented other young women from experiencing the same.

  4. Hi Suz!

    I am a first mom, in somewhat of a reunion with my 30 yr. old son for a year. I had a closed adoption, so needless to say my life has changed completely! I found your blog when I was looking for help, feeling like I was going crazy at the beginning of our reunion. Because, you know, I never feel like that anymore. (Wish there was a sarcasm font for this!)

    Where am I? Physically I am living in Nebraska, just across the river from Iowa where I grew up. Mentally I am not as lost as I was a year ago, thanks in part to your blog!

    Writing prompts, hmmmm… I can’t think of one right now! You are such a gifted writer. So many posts you have written seem like you wrote them for me. You write the thoughts that I have swirling around in my head, but I can’t get them to come together in a coherent paragraph. The effects of 30 years of deep denial I guess. So just keep on keepin’ on ~ if I come up with anything I will let you know!

  5. I came across your blog while perusing adoption related blogs as I was strongly considering adoption just because (not for infertility reasons or any other reasons really – I have one biological son – easy pregnancy, easy birth, no issues). Well, now I read you because I’ve become emotionally attached to your story. And now I think the only way I’d consider adopting is through fostering. You’ve enlightened me.

  6. I’ve been reading you for so long, I can’t remember how I found you… probably while googling adoption-related blogs before I started my own. Then we had the Origins connection. I live in Southern Arizona. I’m a bmom, relinquished in 1970 at age 19, reunited with my son for 14 years, out of communication for the last year-plus. While I’ve slowed my reading on adoption, for coping reasons, I can’t quit you, Suz. You write beautifully and honestly about the bmom experience. I feel like we are friends, even though we’ve never met. Keep writing! XXXOOO

  7. Denise :

    I feel like we are friends, even though we’ve never met. Keep writing! XXXOOO

    Denise – We are indeed friends. If I ever come to AZ, you better plan on meeting me and same for you if you come to the Northeast.

    Hugs to you.

    P.S. I completely understand having to slow reading on adoption “for coping reasons”. I did the same as of last year.

  8. Adopted. Love your writing. Care about your story.

    I’m also on a second beer celebrating my impending 4 day long weekend so to even have commented this much is against my drinking and internetting rule ; )

  9. I didn’t even know what a blog was until 2008 and my introduction left me reeling for a while. Since then, I’ve recovered, discovered, and have learned a great deal from reading your blog and Denise’s over at write-o-holic. I’m here in Chicago and would welcome you both (and your significant others) if you come to town. You feel like friends!

  10. I’ve followed you for a while. You often write blogs that express how I feel but could never put into words as well as you do so thank you for that. Our daughters are almost the same age. I took a break from all things adoption-related in March. I asked the universe “What next” and my life has twisted and turned down some different streets. I’m pleased. I feel like I’ve turned a positive corner and put my limbo relationship with my daughter in a place in my life where it belongs which is no longer centre stage.

  11. findingmaddy :

    I feel like I’ve turned a positive corner and put my limbo relationship with my daughter in a place in my life where it belongs which is no longer centre stage.

    I understand this and and applaud you for it.

  12. I’ve read your blog for a couple of years now.
    Every time I see that you have a post in my Google Reader, well I must go right then and see what you have to say. It feels like the other commenter said, You feel like a friend.

    Thank you for what you say, it has helped me in many ways, and you speak the truth about this condition we moms have to live in, having this loss.

    I’m an adoptee and a first mom.
    It helps to know I’m not the only one out here struggling with some of the same stuff.

    Hugs Suz.

    Also,I’m sorry about your work woes that you have written about lately, but have you ever thought of becoming a writer full time? 🙂 You’d be good at it.

  13. I have been reading your blog for over a year. Found it after reunion with my mom. I love your blog and read it often, even going back to some to reread. I find your insights helpful as I try to understand my mother and our reunion. It was rocky at the beginning, but we are finally trying to just be friends.

  14. Hi Suz, this is Fran who roomed with you in NYC. I’m still in Phoenix. I keep up with your blog for so many reasons.

    I need, somdays even crave, to know there is someone who understands without reservation the intricate dynamics of what happened from day one (family dynamics in the home), to being hidden away in a maternity home, to being physically and emotionally isolated, to giving birth in a black hole of fear, to resisting then caving in to the sick system, to the mounting ambivalence I have toward my 84 year old mother, to the incomprehensible relation I do/don’t have with my daughters…and on and on and on… Your beautiful and honest writing keeps me on an even keel, especially on those days when this grief takes center stage.

  15. I’ve been a follower for quite some time…. your story struck a cord with me…. i’m an adoptee… searched for and have found my fparents… rejected by both… have never spoken… so i guess you could say i’m having some of the same struggles… fears… desires… only in the other direction. I have 4 children and it has affected them greatly… much like your sons have been. I’ve been MIA for a bit… sometimes the adoptee in me retreats… and i don’t always comment… but i do read… it’s nice to know i’m not alone.

  16. Spangie – I know of the retreating you speak of. I actually encourage it. My personal belief is that our retreating is our minds/hearts way of protecting themslves. There are times this adoption trauma is all too much to bear along with daily life. One must retreat to function and survive. You are definitely not alone.

  17. I have been considering retreating from all things adoption lately. It’s all so confusing. Why can’t adoptees that want a full reunion have the first mom’s that also want that, and vice-versa? My son seems to want nothing to do with me, while I ache for a relationship with him.

    If I do retreat, your blog is one of the few that I would have to continue to follow Suz!

    • Susie – I dont know how to retreat from all things adoption as it is part of me, in me, my mind, my heart and soul. How do I retreat from myself?

      • The “retreat” I think I need is from adoption blogs, forums, and such. Adoption has become front & center in my life, and I need a break, need to find a way to put it all in perspective. I need to focus on the blessings I have, not the loss, not my “reunion that isn’t a reunion”.

        Is that even possible?

  18. Susie :The “retreat” I think I need is from adoption blogs, forums, and such. Adoption has become front & center in my life, and I need a break, need to find a way to put it all in perspective. I need to focus on the blessings I have, not the loss, not my “reunion that isn’t a reunion”.
    Is that even possible?

    Susie – You are speaking my language. I understand completely what you are staying. I have said it many times myself over the years. For me, personally, focusing on the here and now, on the people in my life that do want to be there, takes regular, daily, conscious effort. I am keenly aware of my ability to get lost in dreams, fantasies, what ifs, should be, could be, might be..all to the detriment of my current relationships.

    Possible? I like to think so but it takes alot of work.

  19. Hi Suz! I’m your high school friend, who talked to you during your time in Chicago. When I read what you write, I learn more about the person I saw every day for 4 years in high school, who’s become an amazing, beautiful, awesome woman today. Love you!

Comments are closed.