Only a Mother

A young lady, expectant mother, I am currently helping obtain some options counseling shared this with me when I asked her what she had told her extended family.

“I told them I was going to keep it because deep down I want to. I’m just afraid my child will grow up with only a mother and he makes me feel like its the worst decision in the world to keep it.”

While both sentences tugged at my heart and made me choke up, the phrase “only a mother” deeply saddened me.

What is so wrong with being raised by only your mother?

This young expectant mother clearly wants to raise her baby but feels she can only do that if the father is on board with the idea. Interestingly, his only position is abortion. He won’t discuss keeping or adoption with her. He just wants the problem solved.

I am hoping to help her understand that many adoptees would have been very happy to be raised by only a mother…only their original mother. More importantly, I am attempting to get her to trust her own instincts, make her own decision and look for options that support that decision.

2 Thoughts.

  1. Adoption is no guarantee a child will be raised in a two parent family. People get divorced (Divorce rate is 50%) or die. A-fathers can be distant and emotionally unavailable. I hope she does not buy into the “they are perfect” and you are “lesser than” mythology.

    Often these things about the best interests of the child are said when the real underlying message from parents and the father is – if you keep this child, it is going to complicate my life.

    • UM – I completely agree with you on that sentiment. That is exactly what this father is saying and what all others in my experience are saying when they dont support an expectant mother. They are thinking of themselves first and the mother/child second (or last). Its a shame.

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