Brick
2013 December 21
Todays contribution to music related to my adoption experience.
Ben Folds Five – Brick
6 Responses
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Todays contribution to music related to my adoption experience.
Ben Folds Five – Brick
Mother of three - first child surrendered to baby broker in 1986 and found online in 2005. Family preservationist and supporter of open records. Founder of ehbabes.com a search and support site focused on family members separated by the Kurtz network of agencies. Chronic hair colorer, lover of silver gothic inspired jewelry, writer, feminist, activist, socially anxious Gemini.
from → About Me, birth fathers
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RSS Feed Email Updates TwitterThe wound is where the light comes in.– Rumi
"When a mother is forced to choose between the child and the culture, there is something abhorrently cruel and unconsidered about that culture. A culture that requires harm to one's soul in order to follow the cultures prescriptions is a very sick culture indeed. This 'culture' can be the one a woman lives in, but more damning yet, it can be the one she carries around and complies with within her own mind....." -- Women Who Run With The Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes
"The first few weeks at home, I cried all the time. I'd lock myself in the bathroom or go to my room. I cried all night but I didn't let anybody hear me because I felt like I was being bad. I wasn't doing what they said I was supposed to do, which was: "Get over it. Move on with your life and put it behind you." I thought, "Crap, I can't even do this right." - The Girls Who Went Away
Adoption loss is the only trauma in the world where the victims are expected by the whole of society to be grateful - The Reverend Keith C. Griffith, MBE.
All things are subject to interpretation whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth - Nietzche
You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should’ve behaved better. - Anne Lamott
The loss of the daughter to the mother, the mother to the daughter, is the essential female tragedy. – Adrienne Rich.
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One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice--
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do--
determined to save
the only life you could save.
Mary Oliver
Copyright 2013 WritingMyWrongs.com.
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I found your blog today and have read some of your older posts. i feel sorry for what you went through with your daughter. However when you write that adoption is a bad thing and instead of birth parents choosing that as an option we should support them financially I get angry. When the time comes that i feel ready to become a mother i’m going to adopt. I’ve known that since i was 13. It was your own fault that you got pregnant and you knew that you couldn’t raise a child. You could have prevented your pregnancy and save yourself the pain you went through by “surrending” your child. It was irresponsible of you to get pregnant as a teenager when you had no money, you could have used protection. Nobody accidentally gets pregnant, you get pregnant when you’re stupid enough not to use protection. The beauty of adoption is that people who want to become parents gets matched with a child that needs them. these children need parents because their biological parents for some reason can’t take care of them. I understand that you have negative thoughts on adoption because of your experiences but don’t forget that you brought that on yourself. You didn’t have to get pregnant, you knew how to prevent it but you CHOSE not to.
ps, english is not my language so i apologize if i wrote some words wrong or if the sentences were weird.
Your English is fine. Your sense of humor is even better. Your ignorance could use a bit of work. Keep reading, darling.
Keep drinking that kool-aid Bella ^
You have so MUCH to learn.
Wow. That’s just nasty. I’m going to guess bella’s ignorance is due to her youth.
No idea. It did make me laugh. Been around these things long enough to see this type of sentiment.
Bella needs a little more education on the realities of adoption for those separated by it. Hopefully she will continue to read (since she came to my blog from another adoption blog).
Suz, your comments are priceless and spot-on. Like a low-information voter, Bella is, and this is really scary, a very low-information prospective adopter! I hope she takes your advice and continues to read your blog and others as well. And, like you, I’ve seen such sentiment to often to be affected by it. Why one time I was criticized for using the word “surrender” to describe the loss of my child to baby brokers ( I like this term you use – it fits).