A Bitchy PSA

"Rudeness is the weak man’s imitation of strength. " ~Eric Hoffer

I suppose it’s that time again. Time to reinforce my personal blog etiquette.

  • I don’t tolerate negative comments towards natural parents.  If you leave them, I delete them.
  • I don’t tolerate attacking other commenters on my blog. Directly or indirectly. If you don’t have something nice, respectful and supportive to say, please don’t say anything at all.
  • Comments that are perceived by me as negative, confrontational, hurtful to myself or others will be deleted.
  • The purpose of this blog is to allow me to process to my feelings, to help others by educating them to how I as a natural mother feel (and perhaps others feel), to be a signpost for those that have been soul raped by the Kurtz network of agencies.
  • Don’t preach to me on all that is good and sparkly with adoption. Don’t cite ponies and pools and fairies and college tuitions. There are plenty of resources for me to find that out if for some reason I need to be reminded.
  • Don’t send me emails saying that my experience isn’t like everyone else’s or that I am the minority or that one bad apple doesn’t make the entire bushel bad. That is dismissive and rude. My experience was indeed a negative one. I am a “girl that went away.” I was placed into a maternity home, coerced, threatened to be sued, my parents signed a promissory note and my daughter was sold by a broker. I am quite confident that had I known then what I do now, I would have never consented. Knowledge is power and that knowledge was with held from me when I was 18 to keep me in a powerless position. If you need more information on this broker, please do visit babybrokerwatch.com and educate yourself.

I have several tracking mechanisms on my blog.  Not unusual, most people do. These mechanisms tell me your IP, the domain you surfed in from, search words you used to find me, sites that link to me, how long you were on my site, what comments you left, if you have left previous comments and more. The primary reasons for all this tracking (and this blog as a whole) is to help me identify others who were soul raped by Kurtz.  Someone conducting a google search on keywords like “Easter House”, “Birth Hope” or other will find my blog. They may find me and I may be able to help them.

Keep in mind I am good at finding people. I can likely find you or identify you. For example, someone recently did a google search for a commenter on my blog. This person searched on the commenter name and my blog name. The google search gave them all the comments left by that person. I know who did that search. I know what they were looking for. Don’t think for a second you are flying under the radar of secrecy or deceit.  AOL users can be a bit more challenging as their IP resolves to Manassas. However, if you are going to be coming from another site, your path will register. If you are googling certain terms, it can be easily deduced who you are and what you are after.   Also, if you are going to send emails to people I know  be aware your IP will likely be in the headers and it can be matched up with IPs left in comments. Duh.

I visit a number of blogs. They are typically blogs that have authors that I respect, authors that can teach me something. Many are adoptee blogs. They have the most to teach me. The more compassion and empathy I can develop for my daughter’s position, the better mother in reunion I can be. Sure, there are times when these blogs literally slay me.  To see the pain of adoptees, up close and personal, often destroys me.  Had I know that adoption could be so damaging to my child, I would never have consented. But of course, all I knew was that it was wonderful, better than me and she would be better off.  No one told me about primal wound or the life long damaging effects of adoption on mother and child.

I don’t leave negative comments. I don’t attack people. You are entitled your views just as I am entitled to mine. If I don’t like you, don’t agree with you, I simply don’t visit you. You add no value to my life at this time please don’t try to add it to mine. That is for me to decide.  Don’t go away mad. Just go away.

If I sound bitchy here, it is because I am.  Certain events the past few weeks have worn me down. I am growing increasingly tired of the abuse and disdain for natural mothers and fathers. I am tired of reading blogs that attack adoptees and label them mean, angry or deranged.  When I see that, I hear my grandfather speaking, “consider the source”. The mean, angry and deranged person is not the adoptee or natural parent. It is the person leaving those nasty comments. 

4 Thoughts.

  1. You are one of the few who understands from the birth corner of the triad. I’ve lived on the other two sides as an adoptee of an adoptee and now an adoptive parent. I don’t like sealed records, adoption agencies that are not regulated and I especially don’t like those who think their cause is the only one in adoption. There are so many and most conflict. It’s a lifestyle none of us chose, but we have to all work to help those who are and continue to be victims of a socially run and entrepreneurial revenue stream for the perpetrators.

  2. I hear ya’ sister. I have been dealing with similar stuff this past month and it can just wear you down.

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