“The past is our definition. We may strive, with good reason, to escape it, or to escape what is bad in it, but we will escape it only by adding something better to it.” – Wendell Barry
“The past is our definition. We may strive, with good reason, to escape it, or to escape what is bad in it, but we will escape it only by adding something better to it.” – Wendell Barry
This entry was posted on 2010/08/23, 12:12 am and is filed under About Me, Adoption PTSD, Healing. You can follow any responses to this entry through RSS 2.0. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
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Nine Months, Gains and Losses
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#1 by Susie on 2010/08/23 - 2:41 am
So what is the “something better” to add to my past so I can escape it?! My cyber-reunion? It is better than the unknown ~ but it’s not enough. Or is it? Do I really want to “escape” it?
My brain is taking this in a few different directions. I’m going to go to bed and ponder on this for the night…
Susie
#2 by bluestokking on 2010/08/23 - 2:53 am
Good questions Susie. I suspect for the answers will be different for all. For me? I have put my energy into those that do love me – my fiance, my sons and have stopped focusing, overly so, on those that dont (my daughter). I have put time that was previously spent being consumed with thoughts of my daugther, into myself. I focus on doing things I enjoy, books, jewelry making, schooling, work, MY LIFE.
My firm belief is that we have lost enough, so much, and have suffered so much. It has to stop. We cannot let it continue and we cannot give our children that power (even if they dont know they have it).
As noted, that is my answer. I am sure others have different approaches. I hope they answer you here as well.
#3 by Denise on 2010/08/25 - 6:35 am
Still thinking about this… but having watched the video about time, I realize that in recent years I have spent an over abundance of time thinking about the past, mostly negative stuff, things I can’t change, but dwelling there, instead of enjoying the present. I think the “something better” that we can add is focusing on the good in our lives NOW and plans for good in the FUTURE. It’s not easy, but I think that’s the direction.