Now I Follow Light

This song, this band, this album was released shortly after reunion. For some reason, it slayed me. Maybe I read into the words. Maybe it was just timing. Maybe some part of my soul looked forward to once again being in the presence of her body. Maybe I wanted to follow her into the dark. Maybe, as it is often said, I was in love with her in early reunion. I have read somewhere that early reunion is like a love affair, with both parties often feeling rushes of emotion often felt in new love or infatuation. Despite the fact she had no such feelings toward me, quite the contrary in fact, the idea intrigues me as I had the same one sided relationship with her father. It is interesting for me, in some weird cosmic way, that as I felt out of love with him, my feelings for her were also less intense. I still want to know her, still think of her, still care for her, but that all consuming “I think I am going to die if I don’t hear from her” feeling has long since passed.

I can now listen to Death Cab without feeling anxious. The same does not yet hold true for Dashboard Confessional. Still working on that one.

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