Define Best Of

Claud of  The Lost Mothers has suggested I consider contributing my ‘best ofs” for publication. I appreciate the suggestion but honestly struggle with determining my best of. Do I go by the post that has the most comments? The most read? Linked to? Etc.?

I would love to contribute to Claud and the mission of The Lost Mothers but need your help. As a reader of my blog, what would you consider a “Best Of”.

Two that come to mind are The Nose and Telling Children. Do you have another suggestion? Is one aspect of my story/writing more powerful to you than another?

I am asking this for two selfish reasons.

  1. I want to support Claud and am flattered she suggested I consider contributing but more importantly…
  2. I am finally going to dedicate serious time to writing my book. I started it years ago, stalled, stumbled, shelved, etc. I now have an opportunity where every other weekend I will have at least 16 hours totally to myself. I need to use this for writing.

Soooo, I ask you, what posts, or topics, or aspects of my blog have been most interesting/impactful to you and why? Feel free to write me privately if you want to share a long story (though long comments are welcome). You can also consider searching my archive or even look via category (click the pull down menu to the right of this page).

Thank you for your help and consideration.

16 Thoughts.

  1. The Box is one of my faves/very impacting. Also, I am not sure of the blog post title but it’s the one you talk about being ‘claimed‘, it’s maybe a year or so old.

    • Thanks sweetie. I don’t suppose the fact that you are part of that post has any correlation to your vote? ::wink::

  2. Ok, I’ll bite. From my perspective, those 2 posts have extremely powerful content, but I’m not sure they’re examples of your most powerful writing. I wasn’t a reader back then, so I’m not sure if those posts are representative samples of your writing at the time; if they are, it indicates to me that your writing voice has evolved since. To this reader, your “best of” posts are the ones that are so skillfully written that they convey your thoughts and feelings with exceptional clarity; so much so that it is as if we have been gifted with an opportunity to see through your eyes. Those are the ones that blow me away most.

    • Thanks for your feedback PB. You are highlighting something I am very aware of and I want to point it out as it speaks to my future writing. Some of my blog posts I put real effort and thought into. I actually research certain things I am stating…before posting. Others are more of what is known as free writing. You seem to be highlighting writing quality versus content. Is that a correct statement or have I misinterpreted. Meaning, you have no particular favorite topic of mine rather my style (or not)?

      • For me, style is the icing on the cake. There needs to be something significant underneath, but the cake alone doesn’t have the richness that it does with well-complemented icing. So the topic is important, but how exceptionally it is implemented is what leads me to go “WOW.”

        I’ll look through the archives and see which pieces jump out at me.

        • It is probably also interesting (if not obvious) that the posts that take the most out of me, that ones I am fearful to publish, that sit around in draft status for weeks, tend to be the ones that are most well received. So I do believe I know what you are getting at. I cut into the vein and bleed into the keyboard.

    • No worries PB. I can actually review your specific comments and know which ones you liked. My blog platform allows me to search for and list comments made by commenter. So by searching for your handle, I see your list of comments.

      • I’m trying to remember what brought me to your blog first – I’m guessing it was something Margie linked to that brought me over, but I do know I was reading every once in a while before I actually commented.

        And yes, “I cut into the vein and bleed into the keyboard” is exactly what I’m talking about. It’s the difference between autobiography and memoir, IMHO.

        • Interesting you mention autobiography and memoir as that is also something I struggle with. I had been advised to consider writing teen /young adult fiction. I was offended at first but the more I thought about it the more I liked that idea. I am hoping that if I just get back to writing the format, genre, will evolve.

  3. You have so many wonderful posts that it’s hard to choose. The two that immediately jumped to the forefront of my mind were On Coercion and Paying Debts. While this may seem odd to some, I never realized that coercive tactics were used on me and that I was duped and my child was taken. For years I felt like I had made a huge sacrifice so my child could have the “better” life. It wasn’t until I started reading adoption blogs that I became truly educated about the adoption industry. I also entered into reunion with no information or resources about the downside of adoption and had no idea about adoption debts as I thought that love would be enough.

    Over the years, I’ve also liked the personal touch you’ve added to many of your posts. I’m thinking now of the one where you wrote a tearful thank you to your readers for helping you realize that you truly are an amazing mother and would have been to your daughter. I, too, went through a period of self-doubt and eventually came to my senses and realized that not only would I have been an awesome mother to my first child, I’ve been an awesome mother to my raised child (he frequently tells me this) and I’ve been an awesome teacher to other people’s children for over 40 years!

    So, Suz, thank you for helping me through some difficult periods. You are indeed a truly awesome person.

    • Yike Gail. You reference some old posts. I found the Paying Debts one. Still searching for Coercion one. My archives and tags could use a little work to help locate things and BOY I have a lot of posts! Reading some of the five year old ones is so, well, odd. Thanks for your vote!

  4. I know this one is a really old one, but this post ( is one that I think should be included in any “Best of…” that you might compile or submit. At least for one who is on the outside of the issue (not personally involved in an adoption triad, but close friends/family with many who are or hope to be), this post is one that I’ve pointed to several times as pointing out so many of the reasons that my views on adoption are the way they are. It really shines a light on how deceptive and exploitative of mothers current (and past) adoption practices are. I think it’s one of your best.

  5. I agree on Claimed being among the best (I’d forgotten it, so thanks to Rich). I also vote for The Nose and Bless Me Father for You Have Sinned (I think that was the title). Once you’ve got a list of possibles, ones that others have remembered and recommended it, please post it so I can more thoroughly check out the ones you’re considering. Good for you! Doing some more writing and contributing to Claud’s project. 🙂

  6. Your posts about being railroaded by the adoption industry (e.g. the threat to have to pay the agency in order to keep your child). The general public does not understand that adoption is all about money, and not about mothers and children.

  7. I thought I would browse thru your posts to find the ones that touched me the most… You have a lot of posts!!

    I don’t think you will be surprised to read that the first one that comes to my mind is “Falling Through Instead of Apart or Down”, aka “The Fessler Effect”. That one still holds true for me.

    I hope to find time soon to browse some more of your posts, especially some of the older ones.

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