Caveat Lector

Hey, let’s be careful out there.  – Sgt Phil Esterhause, Hill Street Blues

Adoption Mosaic has a short post up about a person that was essentially an imposter. Commentor on Adoption Mosaic was commenting as one type of person when in fact they were another. Read the Adoption Mosaic post here.

This sadly happens more than we know.

I know a first mom that impersonated an adoptive mom so she could infiltrate and wreak havoc on an adoptive mom board. I also know a first mom who impersonated an adoptee so she could infiltrate her daughters private spaces and “friend” her as an adoptee when in fact she was the daughters own mother.

I ceased contact with both these individuals once I learned of their behavior. Neither one of them had any remorse over their behavior and even went so far as to suggest I was a bit too much of an honesty prude by stating my objections to their tactics. Okay, wait, what?

My point is sharing this Adoption Mosaic post is to caution others.  The internet can be a crazy scary place and people are not always what they seem.

Finally, I can add that I am indeed who I say I am (many of you have met my personally) and my story is entirely true.  However, I do hold back an awful lot of the story to protect myself, my daughter, her father and my loved ones. 

Be careful out there.

9 Thoughts.

  1. Yikes, thanks for the warning. The weirdos have already started coming out in just the short time I’ve had my blog up.

    • Liz – Yup. That happens. Depending on how bad it gets you may choose to moderate comments, ban IPs, etc. Your blog is on blogger and I dont know their current features but you might want to look into them. Some people think that banning or moderating is a sign of weakness. I think it is showing some respect for others as well as self not to mention supporting some degree of public decency. If you dont crap on other peoples blogs, why should they be allowed to crap on yours? Check out my own comment policy for my personal views. And also my post On Feeding Trolls. Heres to hoping you dont get visited by too many crazies.

  2. “I think it is showing some respect for others as well as self not to mention supporting some degree of public decency.”

    I agree completely. It is also showing respect to the people who read and comment on your blog. When our Troll was wreaking havoc on our blog, I received emails from supporters saying that they support me, but just didn’t feel comfortable commenting on the blog for fear of attack. Who could blame them? No one wants to willingly jump into a line of fire. That did it though, realizing that our blog had become a war zone however, made us act swiftly. This was definitely a learning process for us…

  3. I think one of the best things about blogging is the approve/disappove comment feature.

    That is not very…well…I don’t know what to say exactly, the word ethical is the one that keeps coming to mind.

  4. Thank you for pointing this out.

    I have from time to time been very concerned, about how very easy it would be to pretend to be somebody else, and get access to information…

    ie, parts of my blog I do not want read by the general public. When people write and ask me for the password, well, how do I REALLY know that they are who they say they are?

    I have recently decided, I will send the password out to the people I know and trust, I will not give the passwords fro my protected blogs just because an email-er asks.

    Thanks for the timely reminder.

  5. One of the most pernicious trolls I ever encountered blogged on ivillage around 1999 – 2000, after I was back from China with DD. The charade, which consisted at one point of the troll posing simultaneously as a *model* open-adoption a-mother and the young mother who had surrendered to her, culminated one day in the virtual suicide of the young first mom. The board actually distinegrated over the incident. I hate this stuff. Can still remember their handles but won’t disclose them because it creeps me out too much.

    Anyhoo, M was a pompous wanker . . . took forever to bluster his way to his main points. Glad he’s on sabbatical. He’ll probably turn up next as an aggressively happy adoptee.

  6. I find this whole thing really bizarre. I just dont know why someone would bother impersonating someone else in a situation like this.

    • Weaver – I wish I knew. Actually, maybe I dont. I believe there must be something seriously wrong with individuals like that.

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