Comments on: Excerpt: Nine Months: Gains & Losses https://writingmywrongs.com/2009/05/01/excerpt-nine-months-gains-losses/ Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. - Voltaire Thu, 11 Aug 2011 19:28:57 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: gail https://writingmywrongs.com/2009/05/01/excerpt-nine-months-gains-losses/#comment-6354 gail Sun, 03 Apr 2011 00:14:40 +0000 https://writingmywrongs.com/2009/05/01/excerpt-nine-months-gains-losses/#comment-6354 Add mine to the terrible experience list. It was back in 1969. The only support I had was from the social worker who spent hours convincing me that I was doing the best thing I could for my child. It was a selfless act I was told. Never, ever was I told anything remotely close to negative in terms of my grief or that of my child's. In my youth, I bought the whole story hook, line, and sinker. I don't know what I signed; nor was I given any copy of anything. Thanks for posting this Suz. Gail Add mine to the terrible experience list. It was back in 1969. The only support I had was from the social worker who spent hours convincing me that I was doing the best thing I could for my child. It was a selfless act I was told. Never, ever was I told anything remotely close to negative in terms of my grief or that of my child’s. In my youth, I bought the whole story hook, line, and sinker. I don’t know what I signed; nor was I given any copy of anything. Thanks for posting this Suz.

Gail

]]> By: HeatherRainbow https://writingmywrongs.com/2009/05/01/excerpt-nine-months-gains-losses/#comment-6352 HeatherRainbow Sat, 02 Apr 2011 13:55:49 +0000 https://writingmywrongs.com/2009/05/01/excerpt-nine-months-gains-losses/#comment-6352 Mine was bad, too. I had no support. They probably clapped themselves on the back when I said my parents didn't know I was pregnant. The problem, is that adoptions are systemically unethical and filled with coercion and fraud. Open adoptions are not legally enforceable. Many moms who attempt to revoke their consent in the time they are given by law are not approved. There are virtually zero attorneys who represent first moms or dads only. No one to enforce the post adoption agreements. Little independent support (if any) for the first moms & dads placing. I wasn't given the option or support to parent. And, there is no legal support for women who were coerced, despite the language, because, we don't have money or lawyers who'll represent us honestly and with conviction. There are some, of course, who are token exceptions, but the fact is that it is systemic, that the system is designed to be unethical and based on fraud and coercion. I'm currently in a class action lawsuit (see link) against the attorney that coerced me. This is 13 years after the loss of my daughter. We likely won't get anything out of it, except acknowledgment (maybe) that what he did was a bad thing. I hope that it will impact other adoption situations, past, present and future, and help to fight against these systemic oppressions. Never give up. Mine was bad, too. I had no support. They probably clapped themselves on the back when I said my parents didn’t know I was pregnant.

The problem, is that adoptions are systemically unethical and filled with coercion and fraud. Open adoptions are not legally enforceable. Many moms who attempt to revoke their consent in the time they are given by law are not approved. There are virtually zero attorneys who represent first moms or dads only. No one to enforce the post adoption agreements. Little independent support (if any) for the first moms & dads placing. I wasn’t given the option or support to parent. And, there is no legal support for women who were coerced, despite the language, because, we don’t have money or lawyers who’ll represent us honestly and with conviction.

There are some, of course, who are token exceptions, but the fact is that it is systemic, that the system is designed to be unethical and based on fraud and coercion.

I’m currently in a class action lawsuit (see link) against the attorney that coerced me. This is 13 years after the loss of my daughter. We likely won’t get anything out of it, except acknowledgment (maybe) that what he did was a bad thing. I hope that it will impact other adoption situations, past, present and future, and help to fight against these systemic oppressions.

Never give up.

]]> By: anonymous https://writingmywrongs.com/2009/05/01/excerpt-nine-months-gains-losses/#comment-3417 anonymous Mon, 25 May 2009 02:03:48 +0000 https://writingmywrongs.com/2009/05/01/excerpt-nine-months-gains-losses/#comment-3417 I, too, had one piece of paper in the mid nineties, no notary, no counsel, just the signature of the facilitator and mine. Even then, it was is very rare that the mother was given the information that the above mentioned "bio" mom was given. According to professionals I've discussed this with, it is still rare. When I later discovered how much paperwork and financial aide the potential adoptive parents were given, I was surprised to say the least. It is good to know that some agencies now provide information and options to mothers who come or are sent their way. I, too, had one piece of paper in the mid nineties, no notary, no counsel, just the signature of the facilitator and mine. Even then, it was is very rare that the mother was given the information that the above mentioned “bio” mom was given. According to professionals I’ve discussed this with, it is still rare. When I later discovered how much paperwork and financial aide the potential adoptive parents were given, I was surprised to say the least. It is good to know that some agencies now provide information and options to mothers who come or are sent their way.

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