â€œMore people would learn from their mistakes if they weren't so busy denying them.â€ ~Harold J. Smith
I am struggling with something.
A member of my family is involved in a legal matter that has resulted in formal arrest and at least temporary incarceration. I wont go into details. It is nothing hugely criminal but it is definitely against the law and stupid. This person knows better. This person is also a repeat offender – not in the legal sense – but someone constantly plagued with problems that other family members are constantly fixing (cough, cough, enabling).
It is tearing me apart not to help this person. Truth is I believe they should be punished. That is what laws are for. This person is not a victim or idiot but rather an educated, professional, intelligent person WITH LOTS OF PROBLEMS.
To help this person requires significant money (which I really don't have but could possibly find a way to get by selling stocks or getting loans).
I am conflicted because I think this person really will continue to mess up and this current situation MIGHT be what it takes to get their head on straight. However, this could also be a situation that makes this person go even further into a very bad place. The drama and conflict it is causing in my entire family is mind boggling.
If this person wasn't a member of my family, I would likely say "Gee, too bad, Good luck with that" and shrug it off in support of the law.
But this person is a member of my family so it is not that easy.
Even more close to home, I know the rage this person is likely feeling right now because no one is coming out to help them. I know what it feels like to be sent away and have everyone pretend you don't exist and no one offer to help you or to get involved.
BUT, I did not break the legal law by getting pregnant with my daughter. One can argue values and morals, and I will argue back that it is not the same. I did not have this pattern that this person has. I did not put anyone in danger when I got pregnant (although some argued I put my daughter in danger by even thinking of keeping her with her own mother.)
It is not the same.
Yet somehow for me, something feels the same and I am aching inside.