"How many child relinquishments have resulted from something other than a conscious, voluntary decision? The answer is deeply disturbing. For by delving extensively into the matter, it is possible to compile a sustantial body of evidence identifying the troubling influence traditionally exerted upon child relinquishments by such forces as punishment, coercion, shamings, biased counseling, legal disenfranchisement of parents from their offspring, and numerous other forms of manipulations and pressure. As the available data is assembled, one very unpleasant conclusion eventually stands out: that the reigning myth of American adoption has been that of the voluntary relinquishment of children by their [natural] parents for placement in new families." p.41-42 Adoption in America: Coming of Age, Hal Aigner (Paradigm Press,1992) Larkspur, California
Must have been her line. I wonder how many children she got for sale by using that line. Did the agency provide it during sales training or did she come up on it on her own?
No really. I do wonder that. I also wonder if she received a commission from the agency.
One of the many moms that has come out of the Kurtz agency closet lately wrote me and informed me of the following via email:
"After my daughter was born, I rethought my decision and I really wanted to keep her. I was informed by my caseworker from Easter House, Colleen, that if I decided to keep [name removed for privacy] my parents and I would be responsible for my stay at Crittenden Home and all medical expenses amounting to thousands of dollars !!"
See a trend here?
This mom had the same caseworker as I did, did what I did (attempted to keep her child) and was threatened with the bills and likely a lawsuit.
This. Makes. Me. Ill.
Correction, it makes me rage.
Oddly, simultaneously, I find it comforting.
As recently as a few weeks ago I wanted to hear from this caseworker. I wanted to know what she thought. I CARED about what she thought. I wanted some kind of proof that she was good and cared about me. I wanted to believe she was good. I wanted proof that my warm feelings toward her weren't misguided. I cared about her. (barf)
I don't care anymore.
Now that I have seen her work at play with another mom, I realize, finally, she was not a nice person. She did not care about me.
How did she live with herself? How many babies did she take from unwilling mothers so she could hand them over to her employer to sell to the highest bidding prospective adoptive parent? Do you think she told the agency or the adoptive parents that the mothers really did not want to give up their children but she strong armed them into it?
It is no wonder she doesn't answer me.
She has an awful lot to answer to and clearly avoidance is better.
I don't blame her.
If I did what she did, I would hide to.