Dear Bristol


I must admit I am tired of hearing about you. However, I am sure my lack of desire to hear about you is nowhere near your desire for people to stop talking about  you, judging you, sympathizing, empathizing and pathologizing.

Every one is talking about you is anyone talking to you?

All the focus is on your mother and her choices and how your pregnancy helps or hurts her. You know what, Bristol? I dont care. I really dont. It may be because I am not a Republican. It may be that I am tired of the politics and the mudslinging. It may be that I have already decided who I will vote for and no further information is likely to sway me.

But I do want to know, is anyone helping you Bristol? Is anyone asking how you feel about this or are you being railroaded to do what is best for your mothers career and are they wrapping it up in the lovely paper called “best for you and best for the baby?”.

No one asked me what I felt when I as pregnant with my child Bristol.  No one asked what I wanted, what I felt, how I felt, or what I wanted to do. I was a non entity. Do you feel like that  Bristol?  I hope you dont.

I really hope someone, somewhere, anyone is sincerely asking YOU what you want and what you  need. If I was near you, around you, a friend of yours, I certainly would.   However, my knowledge and wisdom comes only on the heels of being ignored and losing my child to adooption. I pray that your needs and feelings arent ignored, Bristol. I pray (and you should know I am not a religious sort) that if you find the emotional fortitude to voice what YOU want that those you tell respect it. I pray hard for that. You deserve that. So does your child.

Good luck Bristol. Motherhood is hard but incredibly rewarding.  I had three chances to find this out but only realized two.  I wont offer you any advice or tell you what you should or shouldnt do. I am sure there is an army of so called experts only to willing to tell you.  Please do consider one thing: trust your own instincts. Believe that feeling that rises from the darkest depths of your insides. Respect it. Validate it. Roll with it. Whatever it tells you, go with it. Only you, your childs mother, knows what is best for your child. You will be connected to your child in a way NO ONE else will ever be or can ever be. Trust that connection.

And oh yeah, one final thought, I hope you will consider for yourrself and your unborn child:

Wear sunscreen.

11 Thoughts.

  1. One other thought to add…she’s getting married. Is this really her decision or one that is being made for her. I told my daughter when we found out that she was pregnant earlier this year, “You don’t have to get married”, and thank heavens she listened to me! Get married because you are in love and want to spend the REST of your life with that person…not because you are pregnant!

  2. Another great post, Suz.
    I also wrote on another post yesterday and was shut up because it was political. Is this issue entirely political and/or do we see a young girl faced with the same trauma we faced. Without being forced into the limelight as her belly swells she makes her way onstage and I would like to know what she really would have wanted to say or to run and hide. I suspect a marriage will be directed. Insofar as support there seems to be the usual dysfunction. Would we know “Bristol” if her mother were not a running candidate? Yes, we would!

  3. Great post and video.
    I love how there is no question that she will keep her baby. Is this not a reversal of the standard reaction to teen pregnancy? But the boyfriend looks a bit like he fears he is about to be hog-tied and wrestled to the ground.
    I hope against hope Bristol doesn’t end up with someone who really doesn’t want to be with her (like Princess Diana.) That is not a happy life.
    We all know women who got married in these circumstances and were reminded regularly by their husbands of the “favour” that he had done them.

  4. Good post, Suz. Hopefully it will be Bristol and the father of the baby’s decision! Many young women have their babies without marrying the father and we as a society have risen above the stigma once put on unmarried pregnant young women. I wish it had been more like it is today when I was pregnant and ‘lost’ my son to adoption in 1969!

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