"Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress.â€ – Mahatma Ghandi
I heard from my daughter last night.
I had written to her to share a situation I thought she should know about and she wrote me back
Its been almost a year since I had heard from her.
I don’t want to get much into the exchange. It was tough and emotional and typical adoption reunion correspondence.
I am still processing and I am aching a bit. I am raw.
She asked that if I reference our correspondence that I use her own words and not paraphrase. Specifically, she asked me to use her email unedited and paste it here.
I am not comfortable at this time doing that. I feel protective of her and protective of me. I fear that if I shared her words those that love and support me would feel need to defend me and attack her. I don’t want or need that. Her words were honest, raw, emotional, painful, well written, thoughtful, and more. Her feelings are justified considering she is ultimate victim in this adoption nightmare. I am thankful she shared them with me. She is truly amazing. She is tough but amazing and I am proud of her. (As I write that, I am reminded of my own mother. I suspect my own mother would say the same about me. Many of my daughters traits, her honesty, her candidness, her awareness, is tough to handle. I have been told the same about myself and I KNOW I have given my mother more than her share of challenges.)
As such, I will not say much at this time.
I will say that I am very grateful for the blogs and friendship of many adoptees – specifically Joy and StillBorn. I have found you both to be the most raw, articulate, pained adoptees I know and that is likely because something in your written expression reminds me of my daughter. I randomly add and remove Joy and StillBorn from my blog reader as there are times where their pain, their words, is just too much for me to bear. However, last night and this a.m, I found comfort in those words and your experiences. So thank you for sharing.
Also thank you to Margie and my friend Jean for being there for me as well. It is intersting that in my anxiety, confusion and such last night and this a.m, it was the two of them – an adoptive mom and an adoptee – that I reached out to.
I did share my daughters email with Margie and she had some comforting words to share in return. And my Jean, well, she will forever be in my heart and someone special to me. She has her own mama now and I have my daughter but we will forever have our own sort of unique mom/daughter/female/sister relationship.
Many thanks again to Joy, StillBorn, Margie and Jean for being here virtually or online the past twenty four hours.