Lightening the Load

"A house is just a pile of stuff with a cover on it. You can see that when you’re taking off in an airplane. You look down, you see everybody’s got a little pile of stuff. All the little piles of stuff. And when you leave your house, you gotta lock it up. Wouldn’t want somebody to come by and take some of your stuff. They always take the good stuff. They never bother with that crap you’re saving. All they want is the shiny stuff. That’s what your house is, a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get…more stuff! "  – George Carlin

I wish disposing of adoption feelings were so easy.

I have an offer on my home. I accepted it. They want to close April 30th. I am now in a mad rush to find a new place to live, downsize my stuff, cancel my trip to Ireland (actually reschedule) and manage my sons surgery scheduled to take place a day before I close.

Can we say stress? 

As I am viewing properties to move to, I realize I am once again downsizing and must dispose of items. That is quite okay with me. I prefer to be a minimalist.  Form must follow function.

Five years ago I lived in a five thousand sq ft center hall colonial. We went to a two thousand sq ft ranch and now I will go to an even smaller town home.  Stuff has to go. 

I dont like clutter or squashed spaces. It physically affects me. I suffer from a bit of claustraphobia.  Too much furniture makes me feel closed in and I get edgy. Clutter on counters makes me shake and sends me into Turets like twitching.

There are items I cherish (my books for example) and they get to stay. Other things must go.

I discovered the wonder of craigslist. Posted a number of items yesteday (bookcases, formal dining room set, microwave, wingback chairs, etc.) and they are all allocated. I am awaiting pick up right now.

As space opens up in my home, as I organize and downsize, I feel so free. I smile and feel as I have personally lost weight.

And as always, I reflect on adoption trauma.

This is the feeling I am after. A lightness of being, less weight, less clutter, noise, etc.  in my head and heart.

I wonder if one can post trauma to craigslist?

"Twenty plus year old collection of adoption related trauma. FREE. Pick it up today. Black, noisy, frequently out of control, highly problematic. May induce vomiting, shaking, insomnia and incredible anxiety. Guaranteed to limit your ability to have intimate relationships with others. Fans of horror movies will adore the added benefit of  inducing horrific nightmares. No charge for the extra feature of causing you to collapse and curl into the fetal position at any random moment. Call today. You dont want to miss out on this extraordinary offering! Must be seen to be believed."

Any takers?

5 Thoughts.

  1. Yes, if only the invisible stuff was as easy to get rid of as the tangibles… I actually tried to eliminate some of my parental issues by getting rid of stuff that reminded me of emotionally traumatic periods in my life with them. The feelings are still there, but removing the visual triggers did help.
    Congrats on selling your house, Suz! The next month will be hectic, but in my experience, moves are best made quickly than slowly.

  2. So true about the emotional baggage. And we all have it, to be sure.
    Re this “I dont like clutter or squashed spaces. It physically affects me. I suffer from a bit of claustraphobia. Too much furniture makes me feel closed in and I get edgy. Clutter on counters makes me shake and sends me into Turets like twitching.”
    I am the same way. You’ve seen my house, clutter city thanks to R. Hopefully that explains my scatter-brain-edness!!

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