â€œThe recipe for perpetual ignorance is a very simple and effective one: be satisfied with your opinions and content with your knowledgeâ€ – Elbert Hubbard
In the State of Georgia and probably many other states it is a misdemeanor for a biological parent to willfully and voluntarily abandon their child. It is a felony if they abandon that child and leave the state.
Yet, in places like Hong Kong, or others, adoptive parents can â€œdisruptâ€ their adoption and return a child they no longer wish to parent.
Yes, this story has continued to bug me. I have heard of these stories before. I even know of two adoptees who were purchased from the Kurtz agencies that were returned to their adopted States. I have heard it before yet I donâ€™t know why this one is particularly grating to me but it is.
In my opinion the instant the adoptive parents turned their adoptive daughter over to someone (who?) and said â€œWe donâ€™t want her anymoreâ€ they should have been arrested and charged with child abandonment. The fact that they werenâ€™t, the fact that they were allowed to do this sends a very bad message.
By no means do I want to dismiss the horror that poor young girl is living, but I cannot help but think about how many more children â€“ in the future â€“ this will happen to.
Why do we find this acceptable? When we do we stop the insanity? We all gasp and wince and post on our blogs and carry on but when does someone, anyone, DO something about this?
Guh. I feel so helpless.
I suspect what bothers me even more â€“ on a personal level â€“ is that this could have been my daughter. I never even knew this could be possible. It never occurred to my naÃ¯ve 17 yo pregnant, locked away, self, that adoptive parents would ever ponder this let alone be permitted by law to actually do it.
Oh, how easy it is for the American adoptive parents to dismiss this horror with their statements like â€œWell, that doesnâ€™t happen HERE.â€ Or â€œWell, I would never have done thatâ€ therefore the horror doesnâ€™t exist.
Get out of your bubble. Your ignorance and denial does not erase the fact that it does exist. It exists for that seven year old girl and will continue to be a risk for all future adopted children.
Please, dear somebodyâ€™s God, at least make agencies inform expectant mothers that their children can be given away AGAIN without their knowledge and not back to them.
Tell mothers like me that adoption is not a permanent solution to a temporary situation. Tell us it is only as long as the prospective adopters want it to be.
Tell us that our children can be thrown away at any time, for any reason, should the adoptive parents decide they no longer want our child. Tell us that if our child isnâ€™t thin enough, smart enough, assimilated quick enough or well behaved that our child may be discarded like yesterdays trash. Tell us that bio chilldren frequently come after adoption and those bio children are sometimes deemed more valuable than the adopted children.
Maybe if agencies started telling expectant mothers the truth â€“ the positives and serious negatives of adoption, more mothers would realize the best thing they can give their child is themselves. The only way to truly know if your child is better off â€“ or not â€“ is to keep your child with you.
My heart aches for that little girl and for her first mother â€“ wherever they may be.
I feel sad yet I find myself equally perplexed. Perplexed state to be discussed in a seperate post.