I have no words.

Diplomat, now with own kids, gives up adopted girl

9th December 2007, 16:45 WST

A senior European diplomat working in Hong Kong has promoted outrage by giving up the seven-year-old Korean girl he adopted with his wife as a baby.

The unnamed diplomat handed the girl over to social workers in Hong Kong saying the adoption had not worked out, the Sunday Morning Post reported today.

The man and his wife adopted the girl as a four-month-old baby in Korea, where he was working at the time, when they thought they could not have children of their own.

The diplomat’s wife has since had two children and decided to hand the girl over to social workers in Hong Kong because the diplomat said the adoption had “gone wrong,” the newspaper reported.

Social workers and the Korean community in Hong Kong are now trying to find a new home for the girl, who is in the care of an expatriate foster family in the former British colony.

The girl, who speaks English and Cantonese but not Korean, is neither a citizen of her adoptive parents’ home country nor a Hong Kong resident so her future in the territory is uncertain.

The diplomat told the newspaper his family was struggling to cope with their decision and said his wife was undergoing therapy after giving her adopted Korean daughter away last year.

“It’s just a very terrible trauma that everyone’s experiencing,” he was quoted as saying. “It is something we have to deal with.

“My Foreign Ministry knows about my situation. I have also been in touch with the Hong Kong government and they have been very helpful to me and so has my own employer.”

The plight of the girl, described by the newspaper as healthy and happy, has sparked anger and bewilderment among members of the Korean community in Hong Kong who have flooded the country’s consulate with offers of help.

A Korean magazine has carried appeals for Hong Kong-based Koreans to adopt the girl, explaining that her adoptive mother “has since had her own two children so they gave her up for adoption”.

Under Korean law, adopted children cannot be returned by their adoptive parents but no such law exists in Hong Kong.

Read the article here

16 Thoughts.

  1. Maybe this is a controversial idea, but… whether or not you can completely love another child should have no basis on whether or not you can or cannot birth children. You have to be able to make that leap independently. Just my 2 cents. And yes, I agree that this is sickening.

  2. Just another family that was not properly educated about attachment and bonding issues that are unique to adoption. Now the child suffers another fracture.
    Very unfortunate.

  3. Abuse comes in all colors we fight to save a world and we cant save a child.
    This adoption has become like a box of crayolas. It is picked and chosen and if they break then you can throw them away. And if they do not adore you enough, well then…
    We cant fix what has been done, but we can help the natural mother and I know that you are all working tirelessly on doing this.
    A lot of us Mom’s have enough tears to spread the globe.

  4. Anger towards the parents, a heart breaking for the girl.
    I wrote about this kind of thing so much previously in my blog that I don’t have any more words other than those.

  5. Judy – I would add one more key player here – society. This should never be allowed to happen. It should never be an option for an adoptive parent to give back a child. (Frankly, as you know, I don’t think it should ever be deemed acceptable for a parent to surrender a child – and I say that as one who did- regardless the circumstances).
    Where would a parent go to give back a biological child after 7 years?
    Do they tell mothers pondering adoption that “Oh, btw, your child can be given back – but not to you – at any point in her lifetime should the adoptive parents so choose. Okay, sign here”
    Grrr. Makes me ill.

  6. Adoptive parents need to be better screened and better educated about adoption. It should be that simple. What happened here was premeditiated abandonment of a child and there should be a penalty for such damaging actions by a person ( one who obviously is not a true parent).
    If an adoptee had to be taken out of the adoptive family and given back then give the child back to the original family or a chance for the original family to take the child back.It would be less traumatic to go back to the original family then to be bounced around and reconnect them to their heritage.
    Adoptees can reconnect and adjust well, we have seen it happen in cases like the Deboer case and quite a few others.
    totally utterly sickening

  7. Every adoptee’s nightmare come true. I was constantly afraid growing up that my arents might decide to “give me back”.
    I feel sick.

  8. Funny, being given back was certainly not my worst nightmare, but rather my prayer, although I did that as a child,and who knows what the consequences of growing up in an orphanage would have been for me.
    Although when I was little an orphanage sounded good to me, I guess it is good that God doesn’t always answer prayers.

  9. What’s really sickening to me is that he’s actually commenting on the “trauma” he and his wife are “enduring”. They don’t even mention how their “former” daughter must be feeling.
    No, it’s all about them: “My wife is even in therapy”. Oh, boo hoo hoo. Cry me a river.
    No matter what circumstances led them to abandon her, the idea that their pain is even noteworthy next to hers is just sad and awful.
    I just feel like crying.

  10. This couple deserve to be publicly humiliated.
    Maybe put in the stocks and pelted with rturds and have it broadcast on TV internationally.

  11. This happened to a friend of mine.
    The first set of adoptive parents gave her back to the social workers because “she’s too ugly” That is really in her file!
    How selfish are these people?

  12. Thank you for alerting us to this travesty. I’ve posted the article on my blog, along with my comments. I was so dumbfounded, it took a few days to find the words.

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