â€œIt is not by muscle, speed, or physical dexterity that great things are achieved, but by reflection, force of character, and judgmentâ€ – Marcus Telius Cicero
Got into a bit of a row with a coworker today.
Not surprisingly this coworker is an older adoptive parent. Through the grapevine of the corporate office, he had heard that I was involved in adoption reform and they came to discuss it with me.
He did not really want to discuss it. He wanted to tell me how stupid I was and that there is no need for reform. He believes adoption is a wonderful â€œChristianâ€ thing to do for "unwanted" children. Its â€œgods plan â€œ after all.
I caught onto his position pretty quickly and realized I wasnâ€™t going to be very successful in our discussion. I am pretty good at reading those that have an open mind and are willing to consider other points of view and those that just want to shove theirs down your throat.
This gent was a shover.
But alas, I shoved back.
The end of conversation:
Him: â€œI find your attitude to be disturbing. For you to suggest we should not adopt unwanted children is horribleâ€
Me: â€œYou clearly misunderstood me. I support adoption as a last resort. I prefer all avenues be explored for family preservation. I also believe in open records, kinship adoption or legal guardianship.â€
Him: â€œOh, but that would take too long and cost too much money. The quickest solution is to have the children adopted. Why bother with all the work when you can easily place children with an infertile couple?â€.
Me: â€œQuickest and cheapest? Is that how you parent your adopted children? Quick and cheap? That is such a uniquely lazy American perspective. Instant gratification at the lowest cost possible, right? And if we can so easily place children why do we have so many children in foster care?â€
Him : â€œThatâ€™s not what I was suggesting but I can understand why you heard thatâ€
Me: â€œYou know this war we have going in the Middle East? Why are we bothering? So expensive, itâ€™s taking so long. I think we should have saved our money and just dropped a bomb on Iraq, donâ€™t you think? That would have been quicker and saved us lots of money. And if we got lucky maybe we could kill Osama at the same time?â€
At this point he gives me a quizzical, almost frightened look, and walks away.
I was glad he did.