Uhm…thank you?

Life is rather like a tin of sardines – we’re all of us looking for the key.- Alan Bennet

Some months ago there was a commerical on the telly that had random peoples going around saying "Thank You". I believe it was for a credit card company and maybe had something to do with cash back rewards. I dont remember.

I do remember I never quite understood the commercials as the cash back awards weren’t blatantly obvious in the scripting. It was merely random folks, walking around with confused faces saying "Thank you?".

I kinda felt like that today when I received this email from a blog visitor. I dont know this person. He explains his visit well enough but um, dear sir, I am not sure if you are trying to be supportive, offensive, argumentative or what.

Perhaps its me. But in case I am supposed to thank you…um, thanks.

How do my regular commentors read this?

"I stumbled onto your confessionals while doing a series of Google searches for the meaning of my mates name "Kathleen."

The name has at least 26 variants not counting the "Colleen" versions, but we both got a laugh when I landed on your entry starting with the Gaelic definition of "Kah-leen."

The accepted etymology of Kathleen is from the Greek language meaning "pure one."

Quite different than "wench."

Then I read some of your entries. 

The way I look at it is life is full of lots of different human choices mixed with many uncontrollable acts of nature and accidental occurrences thrown in the mix.  Like a bunch of self-directed pool balls an a gigantic "cosmic" pool table, we can, and should, direct our own paths toward the place that we desire; but, many times we are knocked off course by other people, uncontrollable forces, and wrong choices we make along the way.

I wish you the best in your efforts to make better what you believe is a bad choice you were led to make as a young woman, but I am not sure if blaming it all on evil adoption agencies is either honest or the best way to heal and forgive yourself.

The fact is, you chose to abandon your daughter.  You committed a selfish act based on the popular meme of the times that said: If you have a baby when you are too young – your life will be ruined (a total crock which has led to millions of horrid abortions, screwed up adoptions and the putting off of having babies until it is too late).

You think you were conned, but you walked into the dragons lair of your own volition.  You should take responsibility for this.  Unfortunately, neither you nor your daughter will ever be able to totally forget the choice that you made to abandon her.

This was a defining moment that can never be undone.  Thus, all the anger, frustration and angst in your confessionals.

I truly wish you the best.  I have made many bad, selfish, choices in my life, so please don’t think that I am judging you or condemn you for making the choice you made.  But it was a choice.  You did enter into an agreement with these sleazebags.

I hope you and your daughter can find a way to live around this reality and create as much love as possible between you.

12 Thoughts.

  1. It’s not you. I’d email him back telling him to f-off. I’d be livid. Who does he think he is telling you what happened in your life?

  2. if he did any research he would know there is no choice involved, its traumatic coercion, plain and simple.

  3. if he did any research he would know there is no choice involved, its traumatic coercion, plain and simple.

  4. This guy is a total nut in his cosmic pool ball dust. I see each paragraph is contradictory#9 and #12. Doesnt make sense. He should have stayed with finding Kathleen -The pure one of wenches!
    Probably an ADad. email him tell him to f-off.

  5. I think what he is trying to say is,
    “I am judging you, but please don’t think poorly of me for telling you to get over something I know nothing about”
    Sorry, hon, and parenthesis to you ((((((SUZ))))))
    but People it is like they are EVERYWHERE.
    just another cue ball.

  6. Hi. I’m a very smart person. I know I’m a smart person because I use GOOGLE. In fact, it was GOOGLE that led me to your blog.
    Here’s where I tell you more about how smart I am by giving you some very interesting facts I found by, yes, you got it right, GOOGLE.
    I’m also an inquisitive little bugger, so I took the time to read your blog. Thank me for it.
    Now here is where I let you know that not only am I smart and inquisitive, but an opinionated asswipe too. Allow me to paraphrase a sentence I got from Chicken Soup for the Smart Inquisitive Opinionated But-Insky Soul.
    Here’s some pseudo sympathy along with a hearty dose of condemnation, judgement, assumption and assholeism. By the way, if you couldn’t read between the lines, I’ve never had sex in my entire life. My ‘mate Kathleen’ is actually a RealDoll, which is the only type of woman who would endure an insufferable little toadie like myself.

  7. What the heck? of course I mean something else but really what the heck????? This individual’s post makes no sense at all. Oh never mind. He isn’t worth really even responding to. He’s been snorting a little too much of something maybe paint

  8. Suz, there are a million other morons like this one out there. All who have no idea what you and others have gone through. Plus,
    they could never understand, until they themselves walked awhile in your shoes. DELETE & BLOCK!
    Mo xoxo

  9. Classic blaming the victim. Reread Trauma and Recovery and remind yourself why people prefer to take the part of the perpetrators rather than the victims.
    I’m sorry, Suz.

  10. I didn’t address this on the other place, but I will here. It is blaming the victim, and couching it in a way that seems to be sympathetic. How well I remember those sorts of comments. Finally someone told me to quit pointing the gun at my own head, and I realized I had no choice, none. Since that time, things like this person wrote are like so much water rolling off a ducks back. Say true, say go frak your self to this on and block him!

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