â€œWe all live in the protection of certain cowardices which we call our principles.â€ – Mark Twain
I realize itâ€™s not scientific. It is a random poll on the internet filled out by random no name people but I still find it interesting.
The question is:
Who is protected by closed records?
The possible responses are:
- Adopters (meaning those who adopt)
- The adopted (meaning the children)
- Natural parents (meaning the natural families of those that are adopted).
Most people I know believe that records were/are closed to protect the child first and the natural parent second. Of course, the child is protected from the awful stigma of being a â€œbastardâ€ and the natural mother, well, I am not sure what she is protected from? Her own child? Anyone ever finding out she had a child?
Personally, as a mom, I donâ€™t need to be protected from my child and never wanted confidentiality. I realize some mothers do but I have yet to see a LAW that promises this. Can someone produce the legislation that guarantees under penalty of law that a mother can be protected from her child or anyone else ever finding out she had a child? Maybe its there and it is just one of those things that was with held from me. If someone were to find out, without my permission, that I had a child, could I then sue them? Can I cite some statute that says they committed a crime? Can I sue the agency?
Perhaps that confidentiality cloak is a myth. An urban legend. Perhaps we should check snopes.com?
What I find interesting is that out of the twenty-six random people who have voted in my poll so far, the majority believe that closed records protect the adopters.
Why do full grown adult adoptive parents need to be protected? What are they being protected from? The truth? Facing the reality that they are raising someone elseâ€™s child? Oh, wait, maybe they are being protected from that slut or nut crackwhore who may come and stalk them and take back the child. That must be it, right?
Hmm, okay. So letâ€™s see. Can we just open all records for all adoptees once they reach legal age? Oh, but what is legal age?
In the States you can drive at one age, vote at another, enlist at another, marry at another, drink at another. Some ages vary by State. How the hell does one determine legal age? Itâ€™s a bit squishy, no?
It is not legal to get your natural family history at any age but fully legal for a 14 year old girl to surrender her child with no legal knowledge or representation. Something is well, a bit fagotched there, no?
During a divorce preceding any children involved in a custody dispute can be and often are assigned a Guardian Ad Litem. Children need to be protected. Legal representation must be provided.
If a 14 year old child gives birth, she requires no such thing. She can sign her child away without any knowledge of the legal proceeding, the ramifications and the damage done to her and her child. She doesnâ€™t even need to have her parents present. (Stupid girl got pregnant..she wont understand the legal mumbo jumbo, right?)
I once questioned an Illinois family court judge on the legality of a teenage girl surrendering her child without any parental or legal guidance. I was told it is legal in that you are deemed an adult once you have given birth to a child and therefore can make a decision for yourself without your parents or a lawyer.
Okay, so lets follow this logic. A fourteen year old girl can give birth and sign away her child. There is no obligation on the part of the agency or the state to educate or legally protect that fourteen year old girl. She gave birth. She is now an adult of some sort. (Mind you she cannot enter into any other legally binding contract, cannot drive, cannot vote, cannot get a job, cannot drink and more..but she is an adult because she figured out how to have sex and hey…her ovaries work).
Is it this fourteen year old adult that adopters need to be protected from?
If the fourteen year old is an adult because she gave birth why isnâ€™t her child considered an adult when he turns oh, 21? Why canâ€™t her child get his birth records? Is he NOT an adult? How about female adoptees? If they give birth like their natural mothers, are they now adults who can get their records? Oops. Nope. They cannot.
I seriously donâ€™t get it.
(If you havenâ€™t voted, go ahead. The poll is on the right side bar)