Lovely Ladies in Old Town

“Strangers are friends you have yet to meet – Unknown

The car pulled up into the circular driveway of the hotel. A few minutes earlier, my cell phone rang announcing the woman’s arrival. She told me she would be waiting for me and my sons.

I approached the black car with some mild caution. I had never met this women before yet I was going to put my two children and myself into her car. My son had asked earlier how old she was but he never asked if I had met her before. Had he asked me that, he might have found it strange that his mother who tells him not to talk to strangers or get into cars with strangers was essentially doing just that.

But it was not quite the same.

See, I have known this amazing women, this adoptive mom, for over a year now. We have shared many emails, blog postings and somehow, someway, in the parallel universe known as cyberspace we bonded. I have seen pictures of her adopted children, of herself. I know where she works, I know her husbands name. I know the town she lives in. She is hardly a stranger.

Surface details aside, we have the shared bond, mutual horrors of adoption trauma to connect us.

Oh, sure, some would question how she, as a recipient, a profiteer of the children of another could empathize with the trauma of adoption.

Trust me. She does understand. She does empathise. She can look at her shadow self and admit that she did indeed adopt for her own selfish reasons.  She adopted to fill her own needs first and then the needs of her adopted child. How many adoptive parents admist that? I respect her greatly for that.

We left the hotel and continued onto to a fabulous tavern in Old Town. My youngest child was quite taken with her. It was surprising to me. Usually my cautious reserved child, he is more likely to give you the hairy eyeball than flash his dimples and giggle for you. Not so for my friend. He simply would not leave her alone. Apparently, he has inherited his fathers preference for older women.

Conversation flowed freely.  From family histories, to travel, to adoption, to her children and mine. I found her more energetic than I imagined. I might even say hyper. The actual voice did not match the online voice. I expected someone slow paced, wise, and mild mannered. I did not expect the excited bubbly college girl personality that sat across from me. We chuckled about this.  How our online “voices” can form such incorrect pictures in the minds of others.

Dinner was followed by Ben and Jerrys and a nice walk of the river and down old town. A candlelight vigil for the students of VA Tech was concluding in the square. We sat on the fountain and continued our talks. My daughter, her response to our reunion, other bloggers we know, conferences, adoption professionals. We could have gone on all night long.  But the children beckoned. My oldest, tired from a day of walking museums, clearly had his share of the evening.We parted with hugs.

The lovely I met? None other than Margie/Thirdmom.  I was lucky enough to capture a picutre of her for my son.

My big white head on the left, Margie on the right.Click on the thumbnail for a larger view.

Thanks Margie. Wonderful to meet you IRL. Look forward to doing so again

7 Thoughts.

  1. Aw, Suz, this is so sweet. What a great evening! It was just so good to meet you and to get to know you better!
    I am looking forward to meeting again, too, hopefully soon. Like I said in my post, you are good people 🙂
    Give those little guys a hug for me, they are just the best.

  2. YEAH! Was checking in and saw the pics Margie posted – COOL! – then I linked over to read your entry. How lovely. You both walk the walk and not just talk the talk…setting a wonderful example of how various “sides of the triange” can get together and learn from each other. The personal growth both of you have experienced – and written about – is an inspiration to those of us who are less “evolved” in the struggle to understand adoption and its implications.

  3. Possum – Your comment made me chuckle. I heard Red Riding Hood in my head.”My Grandma, what big eyes you have…” “They are better to see you with, my dear” …..(thanks for not noticing the acne outbreak on my face!).

  4. What a beautiful story from each of you! I see Margie nailed you right – warm, friendly, knowledgeable, smart and a good person, but she left out funny as hell!
    Since I too was one of the lucky ones meeting you, I know there are so many more who would love to have the same opportunity too – maybe one day!
    Mo xoxo

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