https://writingmywrongs.com/2006/04/11/the-nose/ When a mother is forced to choose between the child and the culture, there is something abhorrently cruel and unconsidered about that culture. A culture that requires harm to one's soul in order to follow the cultures prescriptions is a very sick culture indeed. This 'culture' can be the one a woman lives in, but more damning yet, it can be the one she carries around and complies with within her own mind....." -- Women Who Run With The Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes Tue, 16 Oct 2012 19:07:42 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.4.2 https://writingmywrongs.com/2006/04/11/the-nose/#comment-21069 BOTB: Top Ten | Writing My Wrongs Tue, 04 Sep 2012 00:30:22 +0000 https://writingmywrongs.com/2006/04/11/the-nose/#comment-21069 [...] The Nose (2006) A post explaining my shock at finding myself in the same room as my college  age daughter and my inability to reach out to her to say hello, hug her and ear her voice. [...] [...] The Nose (2006) A post explaining my shock at finding myself in the same room as my college  age daughter and my inability to reach out to her to say hello, hug her and ear her voice. [...]

]]> https://writingmywrongs.com/2006/04/11/the-nose/#comment-29 Nicole Fri, 22 Jun 2007 09:56:48 +0000 https://writingmywrongs.com/2006/04/11/the-nose/#comment-29 Wow Suz, Reading this had me at the edge of my seat. I can imagine how tough it was for you. I can see why it wasn't the right time considering that she hasn't told her aparents, but it is frustrating that she hasn't in all of this time. You are an extraordinary woman and mother. When that time comes to meet her f2f, she will be so amazed at your beautiful spirit. I haven't been reading your blog for very long so I don't know all that you've been through during the surrender/adoption and reunion but in reading this one, I'm wondering if she's testing you. Trying to see if she can push you away - if there is anything at all that she can do that will make you give up and walk away. You're so amazing and wonderful. You've changed the way I feel about so many things in such a short amount of time. If you only knew! Hugs, Nicole Wow Suz,
Reading this had me at the edge of my seat. I can imagine how tough it was for you. I can see why it wasn’t the right time considering that she hasn’t told her aparents, but it is frustrating that she hasn’t in all of this time. You are an extraordinary woman and mother. When that time comes to meet her f2f, she will be so amazed at your beautiful spirit.
I haven’t been reading your blog for very long so I don’t know all that you’ve been through during the surrender/adoption and reunion but in reading this one, I’m wondering if she’s testing you. Trying to see if she can push you away – if there is anything at all that she can do that will make you give up and walk away.
You’re so amazing and wonderful. You’ve changed the way I feel about so many things in such a short amount of time. If you only knew!
Hugs,
Nicole

]]> https://writingmywrongs.com/2006/04/11/the-nose/#comment-30 Collage_Life Mon, 17 Jul 2006 21:17:57 +0000 https://writingmywrongs.com/2006/04/11/the-nose/#comment-30 Sweet Jeeeesus, my grandmother would say. How did you stand it? How the heck did you drive away, not sit in the car and stare at the door, waiting? What a gift from the Universe - so see her from afar. Wow. And she "was cool" - good sign. I cannot even imagine that day. Once again, you have blown me away... Damn it, I want you two to meet! lol ...but only when it's the right time for you both. Sweet Jeeeesus, my grandmother would say.
How did you stand it? How the heck did you drive away, not sit in the car and stare at the door, waiting?
What a gift from the Universe – so see her from afar. Wow. And she “was cool” – good sign.
I cannot even imagine that day. Once again, you have blown me away… Damn it, I want you two to meet! lol …but only when it’s the right time for you both.

]]> https://writingmywrongs.com/2006/04/11/the-nose/#comment-31 H Fish Mon, 17 Apr 2006 19:48:00 +0000 https://writingmywrongs.com/2006/04/11/the-nose/#comment-31 Hmmmmmm....."cosmic shit" - maybe - but I would say this was a HUGE gift from God. What are the chances that she would be in the exact place where you are at the exact time? This was a huge gift -a chance to place your eyes on your precious child...like your whole trip was honored, your approach, your efforts were honored by this chance meeting. I admire your patience - your honesty - your putting her first - and I have a secret (and selfish)hope that my first mom will be as eager to see her/my daughter.....hope with me, huh? Heidi Hmmmmmm…..”cosmic shit” – maybe – but I would say this was a HUGE gift from God. What are the chances that she would be in the exact place where you are at the exact time? This was a huge gift -a chance to place your eyes on your precious child…like your whole trip was honored, your approach, your efforts were honored by this chance meeting. I admire your patience – your honesty – your putting her first – and I have a secret (and selfish)hope that my first mom will be as eager to see her/my daughter…..hope with me, huh? Heidi

]]> https://writingmywrongs.com/2006/04/11/the-nose/#comment-32 suz Wed, 12 Apr 2006 14:12:30 +0000 https://writingmywrongs.com/2006/04/11/the-nose/#comment-32 Mia - I agree and understand. While I think I am doing the right thing, the thing that my daughter and I need me to do, I admit its hard. I have so many friends that are in reunion that have close relationships now with their natural families, who are thrilled to find each other etc. Its hard to not to want that. Its hard not to wonder what is wrong with me? What did I do wrong? Is she angry at me? Am I too goofy for her? On an on goes the second guessing and uncertainty. BUT, as you said, while we walk the same path, we each have different situations, perspectives, expectations. Its the beauty of being human. Mia – I agree and understand. While I think I am doing the right thing, the thing that my daughter and I need me to do, I admit its hard. I have so many friends that are in reunion that have close relationships now with their natural families, who are thrilled to find each other etc. Its hard to not to want that. Its hard not to wonder what is wrong with me? What did I do wrong? Is she angry at me? Am I too goofy for her? On an on goes the second guessing and uncertainty.
BUT, as you said, while we walk the same path, we each have different situations, perspectives, expectations. Its the beauty of being human.

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