Good Title, Jezebel [TRIGGER WARNING]

Have your read this article on Jezebel “16 & Pregnant: There Are Actually People Who Don’t “Believe In” Adoption”

If not, please do, go now and comment.

And if you come back here from Jezebel, please make a point of reading a few of  my posts here. For starters, I offer my most popular posts.

Just Sit There
Forgive You Father For You Have Sinned
White Flag Realities
Care to Play A Game
It Reigns Over Me
Sano, To Heal in Latin
Sad, Mad, Scared
The Nose
Telling Children

I commend Jezebel for this article and promoting intelligent dialogue about the sacred cow of adoption (even though the only comments I have seen approved are laced with serious adoption kool-aid.  I hope to see other views soon)

Blog Surfing

“The magic of first love is our ignorance that it can ever end” – Benjamin Disraeli

Was blog surfing this evening and stumbled over to Birth Mother, First Mother Forum.

Read this story shared by Lorraine. Wow. It made me cry.  It could have been my story. Difference is that the man she speaks of, in my life, IS my daughters father. Wow. That brought back memories.

Some day I really want to blog more about my daughters father. For years I was choked up with it all. Respecting him, respecting her, respecting my ex husband. Respecting people who did not respect me. Living in my fantasy world of what ifs and could bes and should bes and dreaming of the intensity of a love long gone.

These days I am surrounded by the love of a man with whom I can discuss my daughters father freely. My fiancé is not threatened, he does not look away, he looks at me warmly, seeing the love and loss in my eyes and hearing it in my voice. He reaches out and hugs me. He allows me to talk. He allows me to reminisce, he allows me to be all nostalgic and tell him things about my daughters father I have never told another living soul.

And he still loves me.

And for that I love him more than he will ever know or understand.

But yeah, go read this:

Letters Lead to Alternate Universe Daughter

Please Watch This

I was present when much of this footage was shot. I was offerred the opportunity to participate. I was too afraid to.  I was afraid my daughter would not approve and it would further limit my chances of ever getting to know her again. I was also afraid, terrified really, that I would cry throughout my entire taping. I simply could not emotionally handle it.

I am proud to know the women here who could.

Origins – Protecting the natural right of Mothers to nurture their children from saravideoproducer on Vimeo.