AFF – Sort of

It feels like no matter what we do, no matter how hard we try, no matter what we say or don’t way, our found children want to leave, want to hurt us, want to tell us to shove it and show us how little we matter to them. It’s a way of showing us what it was like to be abandoned without warning–just as they were when they were too young to object.” – Lorraine Dusky, Birth Mother, First Mother Forum

Very interesting post over at Birth Mother, First Mother Forum titled Why Dont I like My Birthmother?  

More to say on this but it is adoption free friday, right? LOL.  I have a post brewing on a related topic – Mothers Who Set Boundaries in Reunion – but I havent the time, energy  or desire to go there today.  Maybe next week.

Top 101

I realize it is Adoption Free Friday.  Have you noticed I did not post last Friday?  That was by design. I simply could not come up with something to post here that was not adoption related. Add to it I was percolating the thoughts expressed in the previous This No Contact Thing (which happened to generate  some very helpful commentary).

You will have to forgive me but this post will not be adoption free.

I noticed I was listed in Grown in My Hearts Top 101 Adoption, Loss and Fertility blogs. Thank you to whomever it was that made that decision. I feel oddly uncomfortable as I rarely visit GIMH.  This is my own issue and has nothing to do with the quality of the content, the writers, etc. on GIMH.  There are times when I read material there and find it WAY.TOO.TRIGGERING. So, I practice the fine art of avoidance.

But yeah, thanks, GIMH.  I am flattered.


While there is perhaps a province in which the photograph can tell us nothing more than what we see with our own eyes, there is another in which it proves to us how little our eyes permit us to see.  ~Dorothea Lange

A few blogs I follow regularly post under a tag of Adoption Free Friday.  I think I am gonna try that approach for a while.  Mama2Roo used to tease me about sharing non-adoption related material on my blog. For me, my blog, this blog is pretty hardcore to its topic – adoption and its effect on  me, my life, my subsequent children and extended family.  As a result, it is easy for one to assume I am a raving nutter grasping for walls and waving a snot rag all the time.

 I am not.  I have a full life with wonderful boys, wonderful fiance, hobbies that include jewelry making, writing, reading, home decor, entertaining, hair color, fashion, and more. But I dont share that here for a number of reasons. Does anyone really CARE what my latest hair color is? What I made for dinner? No offense to those types of mommy blogs but I can’t imagine anyone being interested in that part of my life.  Perhaps I dont know how to write about anything but adoption (hope not). Perhaps I am wrong. Perhaps I am too hardcore about keeping this blog true to topic. Perhaps I am once again overthinking.

: )

Regardless, I want to jump on the Adoption Free Friday wagon and will do so by sharing photos of my darling Rich.


Taken at top of Sears Tower Chicago - Spring 2009

June 2009 - Rich Sons Graduation from HS