Forgive You Father For You Have Sinned

Dear Father Lynch.

You don't know me but I have heard a great deal about you. My mother regularly attends services at your church. She is often touched by your sermons and will repeat the sentiments to my siblings and I. I find this amusing since my mother knows that I consider myself an Agnostic and a Recovering Catholic. Even with this knowledge, she insists on sharing her, and ultimately your, religious views with me. I listen to her (I can still honor thy mother and father) but honestly, I am rarely interested.

My lack of interest changed last week.

The most recent conversation centered around a recent mass where you invited all families that had lost children to the come to the altar for a blessing.  My mother was quite impressed that you invited parents that had lost children to war, miscarriage AND abortion.  She was very struck by your inclusion of mothers who had aborted their children. I asked her if you had invited mothers who lost children to adoption.  She did not recall.  My suspicion, based on her tentative, slight paused and very confused response, was that you did not.

I urge you in the future, Father Lynch, please  include mothers who lost children to adoption to join in the blessing or grieving.  The Catholic Church has been separating mothers and children for decades under the false pretense that adoption is a better option than being raised by a single mother or being aborted.  Through your misguided teachings you have caused life long wounds to mothers and children the world round. It would seem to me that if your church, your sermons, are willing to bless women who have aborted children you can certainly include those that have lost their children to adoption due to the poor guidance you gave them.

I am one of those women, Father Lynch. I was once a frightened, single, seventeen year old girl with child. Raised with an Irish Catholic mother and a Polish Catholic Father, the message was clear. I had sinned. I would go to hell. I did not deserve my child but rather she deserved to be abandoned by me and placed into the hands of complete  strangers. 

I am not going to hell when I die, Father Lynch. I have lived in hell since the day I lost my daughter to a baby broker. I have spent my life since that time working tirelessly to support single mothers to keep and raise their children. I have worked hard, at my own expense with no weekly donations placed in a basket, to reunite mothers and children. I also work to educate the public, and that includes you.  If I were to still believe in your teachings, I might say I have done sufficient penance, don't you think?

I am not the praying type any more Father Lynch, but if you can, please  consider allowing me, an Agnostic/Recovering Catholic, one final prayer to your god.

I pray the next time you welcome mothers to your altar, the next time you hold the hands of grieving mothers, you will include the mothers who lost their children to adoption as well as abortion.  Consider that your penance.


Suzan Bednarz


Yes, JM, Indeed He Does

"Grow your own dope: plant a man! " – Unknown

So, the house sale is shaky.

Inspection did not go well even though they made offer on home in AS IS condition. They are nervous and I am freaking out and not eating and want to vomit at any given moment.

My dear friend, JM, messaged me on Facebook to inquire. I share with her the scoop. She sends me back this message:

"of course u can (run away to chicago and sleep under her couch). i will keep a good thought.
stay strong, the beauty of our lives is that we have survived worse…
u can try the upside down st joseph statue.
seems like he owes u one."

The last two lines sent me into a puddle of tears. (JM lived with me in the maternity home and surrendered her son to Catholic Charities).

St. Joseph statue is part of some odd urban legend that burying one in your yard will sell your home. 

However, St. Joseph is also the name of the hospital that my daughter was born in. The only place I got to hold her and talk to her. It was the place where I, three days post partum with raging episiotomy wound, handed my baby girl over to strangers through a river of crystalline tears.

Yes, JM, I agree. I  think St. Joseph does indeed owe me one.

He is Risen, She is Lost

" Now, if we are going to
celebrate anything in America and it must be associated with death,
then let’s instead, on a national scale, have a day of acknowledgment
for the soldiers who currently sacrifice themselves for a country; one
in which the habitants brush off a soldier’s efforts and say it’s his
patriotic obligation and nothing more while they pay tithing and empty
themselves of reason for a religion. A religion, I might add, that
birthed impetus for war: the conflicting religious difference between
Muslims and Christians, a president that said he was carrying out God’s
will by invading Iraq, and the Christian support for the war." –
Reconstruction of Reason

Putting aside the fact that I am not religious, I have disliked easter since 1986 even more than I did when I was a child.

The name of the agency that sold my daughter is Easter House.

I remember asking the caseworker why it was named such.  She recited some religious babble about Christ’s resurrection and his life beginning anew. She actually made some odd adoption connection that by giving my daughter away I was giving her a new life and thereby saving her from the "dead life" with me. It was an odd exchange.  An agnostic even then, I recall sitting there, staring at her, secretly thinking that her explanation was as unbelievable at Father Pcolka’s sermons at Sunday mass.

Many years later, when I began and started to amass reams of papers on the agency, I was not the least bit surprised to see similar religious propaganda in  marketing materials the agency sent to prospective adopters. Some of their materials quoted from the Talmud. Others from the bible.  How wise of them to be an equal opportunity agency and quote appropriate religious scripture to suit their client base. Adoption, is, after all "gods plan", right?  Appeal to a persons religion, tell them by adopting (or buying) a baby they will be guaranteed a seat in heaven, able to cut to the front of the line and shake hands with St. Peter, and poof the PAPS  give you buckets of money. Pretty good racket, no? A baby and passage into heaven? Who could resist? How much can I pay? Where do I sign up? Will I get my own special cloud to float on? An extra set of angels?

Um, sorry, but I am not feeling it.  No Easter for me.  I have had nearly twenty two years of Easter. I am quite sick of it.

Yeah, he is risen and she is still lost as are so many others, all in his name.

Nothing to celebrate there.