When Caseworkers Respond 2

Another mother shared the correspondence she received several years ago from her Easter House Caseworker.  This was sent to her via email. As with previous posting, I have removed identifying details (names).

The website she refers to is ehbabes.com

Thoughts?

Dear [named removed]

I had surgery a while ago and was out of my office for several weeks. I returned to a mass of e-mails, phone calls and issues that needed to be dealt with including yours.   

 

You should know that I haven’t worked for Easter House in almost 6 years.  Believe it or not, you are the first birth mother that has contacted me since I left the agency.  Since I no longer have any ability to get information from their office I am afraid that I am limited as to how I can help you. 

 

I did call an old co-worker who still works for the agency and asked about help with some information, but it is difficult since I don’t have a last name to go by and she can only retrace birth dates.  Also, adoptive parents aren’t required to send in information ongoing throughout the years (or at least they weren’t required to) so I don’t even know what would be in your file.

 

I know  that many birth mothers are unhappy with their adoption decision and  some are unhappy with Easter House, but to my knowledge it  was never the  intention of the case manager to intentionally mislead a  client (at least it was certainly never my intention).  I worked with many birth moms over a lot of years and tried to do right by all of them.  It was never an easy decision for any of them and I have never taken their situations lightly.  I have never been aware of any sibling that weren’t placed together, so I am confident that your babies are with the same parents.  I don’t know how I can help you any further.  I wish I could give you answers but I can’t.    

 

As for the website….I don’t know what you want me to say.  I wasn’t aware of most of the allegations made about Easter House and other agencies.  I was a little busy trying to care for my  clients and their children to notice what was happening in other states,  perhaps that was  my shortsightedness, but case managers weren’t informed  of on-going  legal battles either.  Every time you have private  agencies up against  state agencies you are going to have legal issues…both  think they  should have more rights that the  other.  Adoptions are very competitive businesses everywhere and it can make for a lot of ugliness.  Hopefully the clients don’t get lost in the shuffle and mislead.  But adoptions are hard because clients don’t want to place their children for adoption, and if the circumstances were different they wouldn’t have to.  Unfortunately, some circumstances couldn’t be changed and the decision to place was made.  It wasn’t my  decision and I don’t  think I ever pushed anyone into that choice, but I  couldn’t change the  reality of the situation they were in either.   Hopefully the majority of my clients realized that I was trying to help them through a difficult time and not monopolize on their situation.  I think the majority of my clients knew that I genuinely cared about what happened to them and their children…I wish you did as well.   

 

I’ll be glad to right you anytime….please feel free to keep in touch.

Let Us Talk Caseworkers Again

So let us discuss these caseworkers shall we? I have some questions. There are hobgoblins scampering around my mind making me a bit antsy.

What are these caseworkers (Easter House or other) afraid of?

As I have mentioned in the past and here on this blog, before I found my daughter I was contacted by a woman claiming to be my daughter. She was not. She was scamming me and attempting to get money out of me. I realized early in our email conversations that there was something fishy about her. At this point in my life I had learned to trust and follow my instincts. In doing so, I contacted Colleen Rogers, my Easter House caseworker.

I had hoped that Colleen would help me rule this person out as my daughter. If it wasn’t my daughter, I understood Colleen would not tell me WHO my daughter was but I did expect her to tell me if the person was scamming me.

Colleen refused to answer any of my questions. Instead, she recited back to me in a weird distorted voice “your daughter went to a good family…your daughter went to a good family”. Uh, okay, yeah, I get that but that is not what I am asking you. Can you tell me if THIS person, THIS family is the person she went to?

Silence except for the Stepford Wife version of “Your daughter went to a good family”. Your daughter went to a good family. Seriously, WTF?

The conversation ended. I had no further information.

In the years since I have snail mailed Colleen. Even sent her a copy of The Truth About The Kurtz Network of agencies.

In my best Phil Collins voice I offer to that…”there is no reply at all”. By this time I had found my daughter. I knew her amended name. her adoptive parents names, address, even their social security number.

What harm would Colleen be doing by talking to me? Who is she protecting?

I have wondered if these folks were bound by some social worker code of ethics. Yet I have no proof they were licensed social workers. So with that, I ask again…

What are these caseworkers so afraid of?

What damage, and to whom, will they do if they sit down with a mother like me and discuss what happened to us years gone by?