After a While

Ran across this on a friends’s Facebook wall today.  I have always loved it.  It reminded me of my younger self, my divorcing self (seven years ago) and even my in reunion yet not self.  I find it empowering.

From an adoption non reunion perspective it strikes me in that it reminds me that we need to go forward – rejected or not, pained or not, we need to plant our own garden and live our life with or without the other party to our reunion.   Do not let their approach to reunion define you.

I gave adoption too much of my soul.  My daughters choosing to not know her first family is about her  and how she was raised – not me. She does not know me.  Life is short. I have other children who love and need me, a husband who cherishes me, a job I enjoy, a life I want to live to the fullest.  I have so much to do!  I cannot devote my precious life time to dwelling on adoption – at least not as much as once did. I will no longer allow adoption to chain my soul.

After a while – Veronica A. Shoffstall

After a while you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn
that love doesn’t mean leaning
and company doesn’t always mean security.
And you begin to learn
that kisses aren’t contracts
and presents aren’t promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of woman, not the grief of a child
and you learn
to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow’s ground is
too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down
in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone
to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
you really are strong
you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn
with every goodbye, you learn…

2 Thoughts.

  1. Good morning, Suz
    I loved this piece and I’m really glad to read you’re at the place you are now with adoption. The sun is shining already here today in Chicago and I’m planning on having a fabulous day. Life is so very short and I work really hard to start each day, one day at a time, thinking positive thoughts. Reading your thoughts today was a great way to start my day. Thank you!

    • Hello Gail! How are you! Good to hear from you. You make me want to be in Chicago! Must visit soon.

      Recovery is a never ending process. Trending in the right direction these days, so far from where I was ten years ago when I first found her but it is still a daily effort to manage the life long effects of adoption.

      Hugs to you and the family!

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