Commenter Sage referred to my positive memories of living in Chicago post surrender as a “luxury“. I found this to be a strange word choice. Positive memories as luxury?
I think of luxury as sumptuous goods or surroundings – objects, a home, a car, jewelry, something rarely obtainable by the average person. I never thought of good memories as a luxury perhaps because I have an equal amount of negative ones. Years ago I was stuck in the negative, held back every day due to the power of them, afraid to move forward and afraid to stay still. Nightmares, anxiety attacks, panic attacks, constant crying. I remember them all.
These days I choose balance and to focus on the positive rather than the negative. Perhaps that is my true luxury. My outlook and choosing my thoughts. I have suffered the loss of my child, sexual assault, the challenges of growing up in an alcoholic family system. When given the choice to focus on my losses or my gains, I choose to remember my “luxurious” gains.
Perhaps Sage was correct.