When Caseworkers Respond 2

Another mother shared the correspondence she received several years ago from her Easter House Caseworker.  This was sent to her via email. As with previous posting, I have removed identifying details (names).

The website she refers to is ehbabes.com

Thoughts?

Dear [named removed]

I had surgery a while ago and was out of my office for several weeks. I returned to a mass of e-mails, phone calls and issues that needed to be dealt with including yours.   

 

You should know that I haven’t worked for Easter House in almost 6 years.  Believe it or not, you are the first birth mother that has contacted me since I left the agency.  Since I no longer have any ability to get information from their office I am afraid that I am limited as to how I can help you. 

 

I did call an old co-worker who still works for the agency and asked about help with some information, but it is difficult since I don’t have a last name to go by and she can only retrace birth dates.  Also, adoptive parents aren’t required to send in information ongoing throughout the years (or at least they weren’t required to) so I don’t even know what would be in your file.

 

I know  that many birth mothers are unhappy with their adoption decision and  some are unhappy with Easter House, but to my knowledge it  was never the  intention of the case manager to intentionally mislead a  client (at least it was certainly never my intention).  I worked with many birth moms over a lot of years and tried to do right by all of them.  It was never an easy decision for any of them and I have never taken their situations lightly.  I have never been aware of any sibling that weren’t placed together, so I am confident that your babies are with the same parents.  I don’t know how I can help you any further.  I wish I could give you answers but I can’t.    

 

As for the website….I don’t know what you want me to say.  I wasn’t aware of most of the allegations made about Easter House and other agencies.  I was a little busy trying to care for my  clients and their children to notice what was happening in other states,  perhaps that was  my shortsightedness, but case managers weren’t informed  of on-going  legal battles either.  Every time you have private  agencies up against  state agencies you are going to have legal issues…both  think they  should have more rights that the  other.  Adoptions are very competitive businesses everywhere and it can make for a lot of ugliness.  Hopefully the clients don’t get lost in the shuffle and mislead.  But adoptions are hard because clients don’t want to place their children for adoption, and if the circumstances were different they wouldn’t have to.  Unfortunately, some circumstances couldn’t be changed and the decision to place was made.  It wasn’t my  decision and I don’t  think I ever pushed anyone into that choice, but I  couldn’t change the  reality of the situation they were in either.   Hopefully the majority of my clients realized that I was trying to help them through a difficult time and not monopolize on their situation.  I think the majority of my clients knew that I genuinely cared about what happened to them and their children…I wish you did as well.   

 

I’ll be glad to right you anytime….please feel free to keep in touch.

2 Thoughts.

  1. If the previous caseworker letter had a bit more of this compassion, it would have rung truer. Leads me to believe this one might really have cared, whereas, the “you need to seek help from a mental health professional” and leave me alone or I’ll seek “further legal counsel,” were evidence of how little empathy the other caseworker had/has. I’d have felt acknowledged, and perhaps understood with this response.

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