Let Us Talk Caseworkers Again

So let us discuss these caseworkers shall we? I have some questions. There are hobgoblins scampering around my mind making me a bit antsy.

What are these caseworkers (Easter House or other) afraid of?

As I have mentioned in the past and here on this blog, before I found my daughter I was contacted by a woman claiming to be my daughter. She was not. She was scamming me and attempting to get money out of me. I realized early in our email conversations that there was something fishy about her. At this point in my life I had learned to trust and follow my instincts. In doing so, I contacted Colleen Rogers, my Easter House caseworker.

I had hoped that Colleen would help me rule this person out as my daughter. If it wasn’t my daughter, I understood Colleen would not tell me WHO my daughter was but I did expect her to tell me if the person was scamming me.

Colleen refused to answer any of my questions. Instead, she recited back to me in a weird distorted voice “your daughter went to a good family…your daughter went to a good family”. Uh, okay, yeah, I get that but that is not what I am asking you. Can you tell me if THIS person, THIS family is the person she went to?

Silence except for the Stepford Wife version of “Your daughter went to a good family”. Your daughter went to a good family. Seriously, WTF?

The conversation ended. I had no further information.

In the years since I have snail mailed Colleen. Even sent her a copy of The Truth About The Kurtz Network of agencies.

In my best Phil Collins voice I offer to that…”there is no reply at all”. By this time I had found my daughter. I knew her amended name. her adoptive parents names, address, even their social security number.

What harm would Colleen be doing by talking to me? Who is she protecting?

I have wondered if these folks were bound by some social worker code of ethics. Yet I have no proof they were licensed social workers. So with that, I ask again…

What are these caseworkers so afraid of?

What damage, and to whom, will they do if they sit down with a mother like me and discuss what happened to us years gone by?

6 Thoughts.

  1. Hi…I’m Amy…first/birth/natural/bio mother to “A” who is 29 yrs. old. Now that the introduction is out of the way (lol) I went back to see my social worker about 13 years ago now. Charlene Houston…Homes of St. Mark…old as the hills and no longer with us as of about 5 years ago I think? When I first called, she was extremely suspicious of why I was calling and what was going on. I told her I had been in counseling and my therapist suggested I go back to the agency and see exactly what was in my file (opinions/perceptions of me at 17, what i told them, if things I remembered were recorded, etc.) After “speaking to the director” she informed me the files were all on the computer now, there was maybe a page or so of info., and nothing was left hard-copy wise. I said “I don’t care. Tell me what’s on your computer.” More “hem-hawing” and “speaking to the director” and she called me back and told me that I could go ahead and come in. Luckily they weren’t in the same building anymore. I don’t think I could have handled going back in there. When I arrived, before they’d let me see anything, I was asked to sign a paper promising not to sue them or bring any legal action based on what I might hear/read! I looked at Mrs. Houston very puzzled and she rubbed her fingers together and said that “birthmothers have a hard time accepting responsibility for what they did in the past, and now some of them are after the almighty dollar.” OMG. Add gold-digger to our long list of attributes…right along-side “angel” and “crack-addicted whore.” Disgusted and biting my tongue, I signed. No amount of money could give back what they took from me. ANYWAY, on her desk sat a thick manila folder with my name on it! She lied about everything being transferred to the computer and it only being a page or so. She then told me what they had in a very basic sense, and when I started to cry, asked me to stop and realize what a great thing I had done. “Nowdays,” she told me “girls just leave their babies on ant-hills to die.” WTF?? I felt like the 17 year old again, with no voice of my own, pinned to the back of the couch in the social worker’s office, with nowhere to run. Only difference was that I was 100% aware of the propaganda she was STILL trying to use on me.

    So, I think they’re afraid of being hit with law-suits! I truly do, otherwise, why would I have been made to sign that stupid paper releasing them from any responsibility of anything I found out that day? They were scared of me coming back. I had never seen Mrs. Houston so nervous.

    Anyway, that’s my experience with re-visiting the “home.”

    I truly enjoy your blog…keep it up!

    • Hi Amy and welcome! Thank you for your comment. I am not surprised at all by your experience yet find myself disgusted by it. What do they think they are guilt of and how do we find out? LOL. Seriously. Her actions suggest she knows she is suit-worthy (despite the assinine comments on mothers suing).

      • Hi! I agree. Asking me to sign a paper and being so “sketchy” indicated to me that I wasn’t the first one going back and asking questions. The agency *had* to know their hands were dirty somehow of something. I would love to sue…not for money. I wouldn’t ask for that. I want simply an acknowledgment…of what they did, and that they knew they were doing it. The coercion, duress, lack of legal representation for their “birth”mothers, strong-armed persuasion, etc. I would like them to tell my daughter that what I’ve explained to her regarding having no choice, even in 1985, was true! That their “counseling” was designed to make us feel exactly that way.

        I wouldn’t even know where to start pursuing anything against these places!

  2. I had the same experience as Suz. I called the agency and said I simply wanted them to see if the person contacting me was legit. In the meantime, I was able to confirm on my own so when the SW returned my call and gave me the standard “I can’t tell you anything” line of bullshit I told her I had acquired info on my own so everything else was moot and hung up on her worthless ass.

    I like the idea of lawsuits by mothers but even more so by adoptees. I’m beginning to think the only way to change the generally accepted view that “adoption is beautiful” is by radical acts including suing, reverting back to original name at birth, repatriation to home state/community (or country as we have seen some international adoptees doing). These are all the things that amended birth certificates and sealed records were meant to prevent and to give APs the upper hand. Imagine the uproar if their own little dumpster dumpling starting going by their original family name? Would be worthy of a “housewives” style realty show.

    • Meant to write “reality” not “realty” show, even though they are pretty crazy, too.

      • LOL. I understood what you meant and even read it that way. I also laughed out loud at “dumpster dumpling”. Hadn’t heard that one before.

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