Received two emails this week that essentially ask the same question:
Are you still active in adoption reform activities? You seem to have dropped of the scene a bit. Not writing much about it.
Of course. Most definitely. Without question.
My lack of writing about adoption is two pronged. I am currently in yet another round of therapy to deal with it. Rather than spout it here, I am dealing with it more productively with my therapist. We are now trying EMDR as well as CBT.
Additionally, to some degree I feel like I have publicly said all I can say. Not to mention that stalking business and rude emails from someone calling themselves ElizabethJoyLinda have made me a bit blog writing shy.
Finally, and perhaps more importantly, my focus of late has been in supporting teen parents. I view our adoption “problem” in the US as a bit of a three legged stool. One leg is the greedy, uneducated agencies and policy makers. Another leg is lusting infertile PAPS who will believe anything told to them and pay any price to get a child to call their own. The third leg is the vulnerable mothers and children the agencies and PAPS prey on, the source of their baby harvest.
While many of my my peers focus their efforts on policy change, I focus on the other leg of the stool – the mothers. I believe if we “cut off the supply” (or at very least reduce it to children who are truly orphans and need homes) we will have made incredible changes. We still need those other efforts (open records, legally enforceable open adoption agreements, etc) I just don’t focus my energy there. People far more skilled and knowledgeable are doing a great job in that department — on those two legs of the stool. I am focusing on a different leg.
I am meeting amazing young woman and incredible organizations that support them. Teen mothers can be and are successful. They fail because society at large wants them to fail. Mothering is hard at any age. It is always expensive and always life changing. Teens can parent well if they are supported just as older married women are. I firmly believe that.