Confirm, Ignore, Not Now, Explain
I feel the need to explain my Facebook policy. This explanation is prompted by a flurry of friend requests I have recently received (and ignored or said that polite “not now” to). The friend request came from other adoption torched individuals (I know this because the possible new friend has friends in common with me..adoption friends).
I am selective in my friending. I typical have to know you IRL or for a long time. I do not accept requests merely because Facebook told you I looked interesting or we had a friend in common, we shopped at the same stores or shared the same bra size. If I don’t know you, by name, by blog, for a period of time, I ignore.
The reason for this is two-fold. My Facebook is far more personal. While I still filter my offerings, I do share photos of my children, talk more about my day-to-day (read: boring) life. As a direct result, I have greater security concerns. My security concerns grew out of my own stupidity. I once trusted the wrong people. Shared too much information with others. Learned that some people do not believe what I believe, or behave the way I would behave. Certain experiences caused me to look seriously at my online presence and be more selective. They may have also contributed to someone stalking my daughter and harassing her.
I realize it is possible that the few people I do have on my Facebook that I don’t know very well could turn out to be like some of the others. This is a risk I take, we all take, with being on the internet. For now, I try to do my best, or at the very least I do better.
All that being said, if I do know you, have known you (some people are known to me only by their blog or their online pseudonym), please do send a message when you send that friend request. If I don’t recognize you, you are ignored.
It is nothing personal since hey, I don’t even know you, so how could it be?