No Hypothetical Here
I heard through the blogging grapevine some time ago that another blogger (that I am not friends with nor do I read) went on a rampage about the fact I discussed my daughters queer lifestyle here on my blog. Since I am not friendly with this individual, I had no idea. Reportedly, this individual felt that my daughters queer lifestyle is information I should keep quiet, or private, or avoid, or something. I don’t know. I don’t care. It says more about the blogger’s views on homosexuality and lifestyle than it does about me and my views on gays, queers, my daughter or anything remotely related.
This recent post on HuffPo reminded me of my daughter and that blogger who is offended I discuss my daughters sexuality. This dad describes many of my feelings, far better than I can (or apparently did in this post or even this one). I am in complete agreement with points 1 and 2. These points extend not only to my daughter but to my sons (and step sons as well).
Mother of three - first child surrendered to baby broker in 1986 and found online in 2005. Family preservationist and supporter of open records. Founder of ehbabes.com a search and support site focused on family members separated by the Kurtz network of agencies. Chronic hair colorer, lover of silver gothic inspired jewelry, writer, feminist, activist, socially anxious Gemini.
Aw, that’s great. I had not seen this. Thanks for sharing.
It seems a lot of “bloggers” have an issue with natural mothers discussing their children, their adoption and the devastating impact it has had on our lives; yet they have no problem discussing the same things, often referring to their biological relatives in vile and derogatory ways. The double standard and hypocrisy in blog land is alive and well, this is for sure….
How about she is your daughter and you discussing the impact of losing her is none of their damn business.
As you know, I once took a big hit for writing about my son in detail (his marriages, lifestyle, problems). I must admit that my mistake was making him identifiable, i.e. using his photo without his knowledge or permission. I also wrote judgmentally about him. You haven’t done that. Agree, it’s your blog to do with as you see fit, and nobody’s business.
As the young folks say, H8ters gonna H8. I find it best to focus on my own business and behavior rather than judge others. I have a hard enough time dealing with my own adoption related feelings let alone trying to tell someone else how to control theirs. Dr. Seuss said it well “be who you are and say what you mean. those who matter dont mind and those who mind dont matter”
As a reading teacher, I just love Dr. Seuss and the quote you cited is a favorite of mine. Like you, I have enough of my own adoption related issues to deal with that I don’t need to worry about someone else’s although I must say I’m always willing to listen and help if I can. I avoid saying anything negative about relatives online and believe that it’s best to follow the age-old golden rule stating that if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
I can’t help but wonder who would tell you such a thing. I mean I know it is not about me, because I don’t have an opinion. I can’t help but be reminded of a comment a friend made to me in h.s. : Words to live by; ‘Why would I repeat anything that’s sole purpose is to hurt another’s feelings?” Indeed. Why would someone, whoever felt whatever, feel the desire to repeat it? Seems manipulative and cruel. You are not in need of ciriticsim.
In full context (which I clearly did not give as the point was the share the post on Huffpo) it made sense and was not at all manipulative. I was not the least bit hurt/upset as a) it was news to me and the individuals involved are not people known to me or who matter to me in my life. They are entitled to their opinion and I have a thick skin. No worries.