A Gemini Debating Adoptee Rights Protest

Everyone is writing, talking, blogging, facebooking about the Adoptee Rights Demonstration in August.  While I read and comment, I sit here in my adorable cottage style home in CT and feel conflicted. My inner selves fight each other.

Part of me jumps up and down and want to scream .

Lets go! Now! Wahoo! My city! The place where my child was born! Hooray for Illinois and Chicago.  When is the next flight out?

Then I feel a sick feeling in my stomach and something says “Whoaaaa. Hold on there.” Chicago? With a bunch of adoption people? Talking adoption in the location that you surrendered your first-born, only daughter, to strangers? That stanking rotting nest hole for the Kurtz adoption agency? Have you really thought about what that will mean and feel like?

Well, uh, yeah, I guess. Sort of. Maybe? But hey! That week is also my first wedding anniversary. I got married in Chicago a year ago. How cool would it be to celebrate in the city we got married!!! Lets go.

Uh, okay, so are you celebrating your anniversary, mourning/grieving/ the child you surrendered, or protesting?

Uh. All? None? One.

And what about those people who will be there that you don’t like or they don’t like you?

Oh, please, I don’t need to like people to support a cause. Nor do they have to like me.

Will you take your hubby? If you are framing this as a part anniversary celebration, what is he to do while you are standing around protesting (or crying in a corner?)

Oh, but he is wonderful, he would stand around, protest, get me a tissue.

Yeah, but does he want to celebrate anniversary that way? Is he giving in to you? How much of your life and his has to be consumed by your adoption trauma and related activities?

But, but, I have to. It is MY state, my daughters birthplace, my well, thang. I have to show my support. My peeps are there.

Okay, what if you have surgery just before then? How will that work out? Will you be recovered enough to travel?

At this point, I tell that inner voice to shut up and I procrastinate about making hotel and flight plans and confirming attendance.

The joys of being a Gemini.

9 Thoughts.

  1. Suz,
    I can so relate to this! Chicago, my home town, the best place in the world, when things are good. Love going there, but It holds ALL of my adoption triggers. Maybe we can be trigger buddies?? As for people that you don’t see eye to eye with, there are probably an equal amount, if not more, people that are excited to meet you/see you again (myself included!). I’m bringing hubby, who is still deciding on wether or not to protest with us. (He’s in Federal law enforcement and has mixed feelings about the appropriateness of him actively participating in a public protest.) I know this is going to be a huge mish-mash of emotions and he is a great kleenex carrier/hug giver.

    I hope you come, Suz.

    BTW, love the new banner on the blog! Also, this was not my original response to you. It was getting so long that I decided to make it a blog post :-/

    • Glad to have company in this debate. LOL. Undecided. So much weighing on my mind. As for the banner, its temporary. I have an entire new thing in mind, just playing around. I do love that pic though. It is obviously Chicago and was taken on my wedding day last year. I should post more. My two photographers did some amazing work.

  2. You should totally go! It is not like a conference, for the most part it is like a big party. Of course we are lobbying but it is not this big heavy deep thing, it is mostly having fun. There is glitter involved. No one is going to be mean to you.
    Plus, it would be really good for you personally to talk to some of the Chicago people as it is a tiered access state and you could speak to that directly.

    • Glitter you say? That made me laugh. I am so not a glitter girl. If you had said leather and spikes and gothic inspired silver jewelry I would be right over. What is that saying “Glitter is the herpes of the craft projects?” LOL. Still debating Joy. It should seem like an easy decision really but its causing signficant conflict for me. As for IL, I have spoken to many of the legislators over the years (Sarah, Melisha, Adoption Registry, etc) as part of my efforts to shut down Easter House. Not sure I have more to add. (Although there is one piece of info I am attempting to get my hands on that could be very telling. More on that in the future). I

      • lol, well you are welcome to put leather and spikes on your sign, you will just have to bring it. That may be a very cool look. I can understand your hesitation, if you want to ask me anything more specific or personal feel free to email me.

  3. I get the inner debate, and I’m not a Gemini!

    I also wanted to say that I love the new look of your blog. Love the photo and the clean, easy to read format.

  4. Thanks. I am not sure I am liking it. Trying it out as I explore some other templates and development options. I may change it as frequently as I do my hair color!

  5. I think it is a fantastic photo, really breath taking. I wouldn’t change it!

    As for Chicago, I’m still trying to figure out how to get there. I detest driving. The thought of driving into Chicago gives me hives. I wish I could fly.

    • Thanks Liz. I would like to crop the banner or make the space larger so I have have my tattoo showing. Again, still playing around. Have a better template in mind but this got me a step closer! Train? Carpool? If I were def coming I would drive out to get you! I dont mind driving in the city at all!

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