2012 Blog Stats

As I did last year, to end this year I am rounding out with an analytic post  about my blog for 2012.  I find this nerdy data interesting and insightful. WordPress does a great job of giving me an annual report. I have added to what they provided me using information from other sources.

Top 5 posts (most read):

  1. Roger Ebert Made Me Cry *
  2. Reflections
  3. Opinion versus Defamation in Adoption Blogging
  4. Reunion Dreams and Nightmares
  5. The Cost of Change

* Number 1 is a false positive. For some reason an inordinate number of web searchers were searching for either the word “cry” or “Roger Ebert”. They always found my post.  They are not readers.

Post with the Most Comments (Still a good post. Be sure to read the track backs to it at the end.) – The Cost of Change

Top Keywords (that lead to people finding my blog were the following):

  1. cry (see # 1 post above)
  2. writing my wrongs (clearly looking for me as this was most often paired with “suz”)
  3. reflections
  4. nightmares
  5. defamation (see #3 in most popular post)

Top referring sites:

  1. adoption-truth.com
  2. facebook.com (likely my own links from my wall)
  3. twitter.com (also likely my tweets)
  4. adoption.alltop.com
  5. chinaadoptiontalk.blogspot

Most visitors came from:

  1. US
  2. Canada
  3. Vietnam (?????)
  4. UK
  5. Germany

Myers Briggs Blog Personality Type:
According to Typealizer (a nerdy little site that gets my juices flowing a bit even if I have no proof of its accuracy, the premise intrigues me) my blogs Myers Briggs Personality style is ISFP = Artist. This is amusing to me for when I take  true Myers Briggs I always come out at INFJ.  Take that stat lightly and just for fun. They are similar types (see below and you tell me if you agree!)

Summary of ISFP (The Artist) – As an ISFP, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit into your value system. Your secondary mode is external, where you take things in via your five sense in a literal, concrete fashion. ISFPs live in the world of sensation possibilities. They are keenly in tune with the way things look, taste, sound, feel and smell. They have a strong aesthetic appreciation for art, and are likely to be artists in some form, because they are unusually gifted at creating and composing things which will strongly affect the senses. They have a strong set of values, which they strive to consistently meet in their lives. They need to feel as if they’re living their lives in accordance with what they feel is right, and will rebel against anything which conflicts with that goal. They’re likely to choose jobs and careers which allow them the freedom of working towards the realization of their value-oriented personal goals.

ISFPs tend to be quiet and reserved, and difficult to get to know well. They hold back their ideas and opinions except from those who they are closest to. They are likely to be kind, gentle and sensitive in their dealings with others. They are interested in contributing to people’s sense of well-being and happiness, and will put a great deal of effort and energy into tasks which they believe in.

Summary of INFJ (The Protector) –  INFJs place great importance on havings things orderly and systematic in their outer world. They put a lot of energy into identifying the best system for getting things done, and constantly define and re-define the priorities in their lives. On the other hand, INFJs operate within themselves on an intuitive basis which is entirely spontaneous. They know things intuitively, without being able to pinpoint why, and without detailed knowledge of the subject at hand. They are usually right, and they usually know it. Consequently, INFJs put a tremendous amount of faith into their instincts and intuitions. This is something of a conflict between the inner and outer worlds, and may result in the INFJ not being as organized as other Judging types tend to be. Or we may see some signs of disarray in an otherwise orderly tendency, such as a consistently messy desk. As an INFJ, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you take things in primarily via intuition. Your secondary mode is external, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit with your personal value system. INFJs are gentle, caring, complex and highly intuitive individuals. Artistic and creative, they live in a world of hidden meanings and possibilities. Only one percent of the population has an INFJ Personality Type, making it the most rare of all the types.

Top Five Commentors (all great ladies!):

  1. Denise
  2. Rebecca
  3. Psychobabbler
  4. Susie
  5. Carol Chandler

Readability:
According to Read-Able.com my blog has a readability level of grade 6. This means it should be easily understood by 11 and 12 year olds.  You might be quick to jump to a conclusion there. “Do you really want to be writing at a 6th grade level?” you might ask. To that question I would loudly answer Yes.

Professionally, I write for a healthcare company and we are required to write to that level largely due to the fact that the average American reads at the 8-9th grade level.  Healthcare information has to be even more easy to read as by its nature it is incredibly complicated and vitally important.  (Tools like Healthcare Literacy Software Plugin for Word help in case you are curious).

Having once been told in college I needed to “dumb down” my writing, I am pleased my professional life has spilled over into my personal and I finally write a level the majority can understand. Perhaps most importantly, the audience I most want to reach in all I do is young woman at risk of becoming prey to the American Adoption Industry. They will likely be at this grade level.

Year over Year:
Compared to 2011 my page loads dipped a bit (down by 2K) but that is to be expected in my opinion. I wrote less.  Bloggers know to get and retain traffic you need to write not only interesting content but frequently.  I am okay with rankings. Where I was once blogging for readers and fans and to be part of the larger adoption blogging community, that is no longer the case. Well, to some degree it is still an objective, but not a primary one.

Browsers :

  1. Chrome
  2. Firefox
  3. Safari
  4. IE
  5. Mobile Browser

Interesting? Too nerdy for you? I love this stuff for so many reasons.  If you are a blogger and have any questions (or suggestions), feel free to share!

Happy New Year!

Emotional Carotid

If she hadn’t done it before I might have overlooked it  this time. It might not have hurt so much.

No.

That is not true. It likely still would have hurt. It is the fact that this was done again, repeatedly, that made this time hurt more than the last.

I don’t understand people who do such things. Well, maybe I do, I realize I have the ability myself but I choose not to exercise it.  I know better. I feel differently. I don’t go for the emotional carotid. I have other ways to make my point, debate, argue, and yeah, hurt someone, without going for the deepest wound in their life.  I have my friend Karuna to thank for that lesson.

Years ago, on LiveJournal, I shared a similar experience. I believe that situation involved my ex-husband and his inflicting a similar wound.  Railing in pain, bleeding from the deepest parts of my soul, I turned to my LiveJournal friends at the time and spilled all the details into a journal posting, the title of which I have long forgotten.  As an adoptee and healthcare professional, Karuna likely said much in response. I remember only one sentence:

“you do not use a persons greatest wound against them.”

She was right.

My husband, and my sister years before him (her first offense), had indeed used my greatest wound – the loss of my first-born child to adoption – against me.  It was dirty pool. It is the mark of an unfair fighter, a nasty person, a mean-spirited sick soul that will go for the emotional carotid. Doing so stops the flow of blood from my heart to my head and sends me spinning into shock.  No need to check for a pulse. I am alive but emotionally dead.  It is a guaranteed win for them. A win that leaves me curled on the floor, literally or figuratively, attempting to breathe and regain my senses.  My white flag flies.

This time, this year, when my sister opted for that tactic I was momentarily confused.  The words she chose were out-of-place with the flow of the argument. Clearly she was losing, or felt she was, and she began to grasp at straws.  If there had been a mirror in front of me, versus the face of my older sister, I might have seen my eyebrows raise and squint towards my nose in utter confusion as I turned to my mother.

“What does she mean? Supplementing? Do you understand that?” I asked my mother.

My mother did not turn to me. Rather she stared at my sister and said “Don’t go there, Jule.”

It was then it clicked.

There.

Where would my mother tell my sister not to go? What holy sacred ground would cause my 68-year-old mother to suddenly interrupt a heated argument amongst two of her three daughters and demand her oldest child not go THERE.

My daughter.

Adoption.

I literally stepped back as if I had been slapped. Only I hadn’t been.  All my emotional control, my logic, my desire to contain my own nasty fighting tactics began to shatter. I heard the small cracks forming in my emotional armor. My breath became shallower and my stomach burned and flew up into my throat to choke me.

It was time to go.  There would be no winner here. Nothing gained.   Only more to be lost.

I have lost enough. My child, enough of my soul, my life, my sanity.

I left. Packed up my belongings with the help of my loving husband and left.

Gone.

As we drove away I remembered Karuna’s words and was thankful for them, for her, and for my ability to reflect on them at that crucial moment.  Had I not done so, things could have gotten much worse.  They didn’t. I didn’t. I don’t.

Do not use another persons greatest wound against them. If you do, be prepared for them to be dead to you and you to them. Relationship resuscitation may not be possible.

Very Happy New Year

On behalf of myself and the organizations YOU helped to support, I am wishing you and your loved ones a very happy new year. Through my Baubles for Babes project and your purchase of jewelry from Chloe + Isabel by Suz I donated funds to Teen Parent Connection (IL), A Young Mothers D.R.E.A.M (NY) and in a week or so I will donate to My Sisters’ Place (CT).  This project has been wildly received by many friends and family. The majority of my sales, and hence my commissions, have come from friends and readers here.

Thank you.

Thank you from me, from the organizations, from the mothers you have helped.

January is going to be an exciting month for me as I am supporting an organization very close to my home and heart – St.Agnes Home. Watch my blog for details or visit and like the Facebook page to be kept up to date.

Happy new year.