Must Read: Paper Pregnant Centric

While I struggle with my inability to blog coherently, let me share with you the post of someone who suffers no such malady: Mei-Ling (you should really read her entire blog. It is amazing).

Her latest post is too good for words. You  must read it yourself.

Paper Pregnant-Centric

11 Thoughts.

  1. I’m torn on this one. I’ll have to ponder it more. While I never used that term, I don’t see the harm in the joy of some people. I see her points and as you know Suz, I truly don’t want to offensive with terminology. I guess my initial impression is this is just too much over-thought about the issue.

    I’m in a weird adoption space right now anyway. Our adoption is different in so many ways from others and it has some very ugly parts that are coming back up right now. Raw would be a good word for things right now and I’m faced with dealing with courts, DAs, probation and all sorts of crappy stuff. Plus I’m getting hammered again in the game of who gets to see the kid more. I just can’t make everyone happy.

    Bleh, verbal diarrhea. I should just call it a night.

    • I am not sure there can be too much “over thought” on the issue of unecessary separation of mother and child. I also think Mei Ling is pointing out that the “joy of some people” comes as the expense of others trauma, including the child, and paper pregnant makes light of that if not completely ignoring it. Can understand how this could be challenging to deal with if you are in your own challenging place right now. Been there. Done that. Hugs to you.

      • No I mean of the phrase, not that process. I never used the phrase, I didn’t have a shower or do any of that stuff but I was excited to have a child coming and there is a lack of good terms for that. I suppose like a lot of things in adoption the terms are lacking.

        I do think you can be joyful to add a child to your family and still acknowledge that adoption involves grief and loss. We were certified as foster parents, we took many extra classes that were not required because we felt like it was so important. Some of the exercises we went through in those classes still haunt me today and that’s just from an abstract exercise. No I didn’t lose a child to adoption, I gained one so I’m in a position of power, not grief, I admit. But I did it the best ethical way we could – her TPR was done before we even came into the picture. This wasn’t a newborn, this wasn’t an agency that was making bags of cash. And I think you know, as much as you can from a distance, I love my child and I’m trying to raise her well as a complete person.

        As for the raw part, thanks. It goes back to that discussion on fb – how much do you force, coupled with the fact that we have four separate groups to juggle.

        • It likely bears noting that you are not the stereotypical demographic. Your adoption was not the typical healthy, white, infant, closed adoption, ya know? When adoption is truly necessary, it really needs to be done with people like you as parents.

          • I’ve erased my response four times now. I think the only sure thing I can say is thank you because that means a lot.

  2. i guess if they are “paper pregnant” then they become “paper parents”? or have a “paper miscarriage” ?
    i am not sure i have a problem with the term “paper pregnant”, it definitely highlights the fact that no actual pregnancy is occurring in the prospective “paper mom”.

Comments are closed.