Adoption Healing Support Group in CT

I attended the Adoption Healing Support Group in West Hartford, CT last week. I meant to write about it but honestly, even a support group like that can set me off kilter for a few days. I am just getting around to it.

I  recommend the group. There were about 10 of us in attendance. There were a handful of adoptees (two late discovery), mothers (most older than me) and even one husband to a mother that was present. I was so touched to see the husband there – and that he was welcomed. I shared that my partner has difficulty with my adoption trauma, and his own status as collateral damage to it. The group leader and others said in unison “he is welcome here”.  We plan to attend next month.

The group meets on the third thursday of every month and follows the format of a twelve step program.  The leaders (and mother in a reunion similar to mine and an adoptee) are very welcoming and kind. They shared reading materials, news of OBC efforts in our state and offered a “soft shoulders” list.

I found myself feeling a bit off the next day (this is typical after attending such things) yet still inspired and hopeful.  I feel as if I am ready to go to, the next level so to speak, the next place, a new path, in this adoption trauma journey of mine. Having local friends who understand will be a blessing for sure.

Again, the details below taken from the Connecticut Adoption Community Network site:

Adoption Healing Support Group – West Hartford, CT

This group is open to Adoptees, Birthparents, and Adoptive Parents.  Come join us for safe sharing in a supportive, understanding environment.  This group meets the 3rd Thursday of every month at the Universalist Church, 433 Fern Street, West Hartford, CT.  Please park at the back of the building and enter through the side glass door entrance.  Meeting is held in the Brown Program Center, Second Floor.

Contact Marion Conklin at 203-551-1121 or mjconklin@aol.com or Gia Pallone (860) 956-7919

20 thoughts on “Adoption Healing Support Group in CT

  1. Rich, you sound like a gem. Your supportive stance is a wonderful thing. Suz, I appreciate your sharing this support group info and, if I lived nearby, I’d join you. Several years ago I checked around my area to see if there was a local support group and did not find one. While I have an awesome group of online friends who have been very supportive, I do think that it would be beneficial to have a live local support system. So if you hear of anything similar in the Chicago area please let me know.
    I look forward to hearing more about the group your with.
    Gail

  2. I’m so happy for you, especially because I was one of the 5 co-founders of the Adoption Healing Group in Fairfield back in 1989 and helped to come up with that format. Jane Servadio and Barbara Montgomery still faciliate that Thursday night group. I know it changed my life to have had that group and the tools I learned in that program in my healing journey.

    I left Ct. when I divorced in the mid 90’s and have been involved in many other groups, but for me Adoption Healing Ct. (Fairfield) will always be my home group.

    1. Carol – The group leaders (Marion and Gia) raved about Jane and her Fairfield County group. My friend that was with me resides in Shelton and may try to visit that group versus coming up to West Hartford. You have much to be proud of if that group is even better than West Hartford. In my experience, adoption support groups can be challenging. Certain adoptees rage at the mothers in the room, mothers project onto the adoptees into the room and GASP there is that negative energy that is directed to the adoptive parents if present. I felt little to none of that in this meeting. I imagine Jane group is the same if not better.

  3. If you’ve ever met Jane you would know that she is the calmest and most rationale person in the world – she is both an ex-cop and a nurse (!) so she knows how to keep a group functioning in a healthy way. But the format itself which is as you know based on the 12-step group format – helps people keep the focus on themselves and not rage out sideways. I do remember one or two adoptees in the beginning attempting to rage at moms in the room, but we had it down to a science where a couple of members would quietly approach that individual and ask them to step outside. It’s very civilized and very empowering. I don’t know Marion and Gia but if they have attended Jane’s group – they get it… Sometimes when I tell people I was part of a group like that they can’t grasp how adoption and that format can work since they insist adoption is not an addiction. It’s not, but it sure can contribute to dysfunctional behaviors as we well know…

  4. Do you know if they have support groups like this in other states? I am very interested in this and would love to form a group like this in my area if there isn’t one already. How can I find out about the way this group works?

    1. I do not know Nicole however I can offer that you could likely email the group leaders (I believe I have their email in my post) or even my other blog reader friend Carole who comments here as she has some experience setting up such groups. Feel free to write me privately for more info or contact names.

  5. Unfortunately, the Adoption Healing group in Fairfield is no longer meeting due to lack of attendance. I saw Jane a couple of weeks ago at our nursing school reunion and found out at that time. Jane is a wonderful woman and it was so good to see her again.

    1. Pamela – Thank you for letting me know. I was not aware. I have not been back to the West Hartford group due to my schedule. I hope to be there soon.

    2. I’m so sorry to read this! I was just looking at the site to pass the meeting info on to an adoptee in her early 20’s. That’s very sad that this meeting has ended, but of course I could’ve helped to keep it going. I went for quite some time and it was a wonderful place to be, but just got bogged down with a busy schedule.

  6. Thanks Pam for letting me know as well…. I am now living in Phoenix and have met some people in the adoption community out here who are interesting in possibly doing an Adoption Healing format group here. We are just in the talking stages but I find that I most comfortable dealing with my adoption issues when I am focused on healing as opposed to staying stuck in victimhood.

  7. It is wonderful to read the positive comments about the West Hartford Group. We have had a very positive response and look forward to continuing to welcome new members.

    We are glad to share the guidelines for the Adoption Healing Group to anyone, anywhere who is interested in starting a group. The format is based on the Fairfield Adoption Healing Group.

    A special thanks to Carol, Jane and Barbara who founded that group in 1989. I started attending in 1997. What a haven it was!

    Thanks, Suz for this blog.

    Marion

    1. Hi there,
      I realize this is an old post but it popped up for me when I googled CT adoption support groups. Anyone have any recent info on groups in the Shelton CT area? Hoping to find people who are past the “kool aid” years 🙂

      1. Hi Leeniliee – I am not aware of any others in CT. I am in the Hartford area. However, I grew up in Stratford AND lived in Shelton for several years! I am down that way all the time! If you ever want to get together, just message me. Always open to meeting moms in the area!

      2. I’m in Bethel and I don’t know about any groups now that the Fairfield one ended, but I found my son
        22 years ago. If you want to get in touch let me know. 🙂

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