For the Love of Trolls

Really?

“Author : X (IP: 217.128.105.17 , LAubervilliers-153-52-10-17.w217-128.abo.wanadoo.fr)
E-mail : X@hotmail.com
URL    :
Whois  : http://whois.arin.net/rest/ip/217.128.105.17
Comment:
You should respect her privacy. Even posting this is disrespectful and an invasion of her privacy.

You have beautiful sons, why not just focus on them and leave her be. Do you really need to be blogging about your daughter every day for years and years on end?

The reason that she has been targeted is directly to do with your constant blogging about her. It doesn’t matter who wrote those comments, they never would have found her if you had been more respectful of her privacy.

If you really loved her you would let her go.”

18 Thoughts.

  1. Please tell me I did not just read this!

    When are people going to pull their heads out of their arses? It’s this kind of ignorance and stupidity that just irritate the fire out of me!!

    I’m sending you lots of big, squishy hugs!!

    • Yeah, seriously, inblindfaith, i agree. I should note that years ago this type of comment would have sent a flurry of heat through my stomach, a flush to my face and constricted my throat. These days, after so much of this ignorance, and much more, I generally resort to a eye roll or face palm or expression of amusement. Too much ignorance in that statement to do anything but ignore it.

  2. WOW, fairly certain, wait, YES I did, I just threw up in my mouth as I was so sickened by this obviously clueless individual’s ranting & raving. Double WOW, talk about misinformed & clueless!!!
    Echoing what ‘inblindfaith’ says, get your head out of your arse, you ASSHAT!!!

    • Rich – I recommend you not let this person agigate you. This type of sentiment is seen all over adoption. In fact, the last line about letting her go if you loved her, likely comes right out of the adoption social worker, baby broker handbook. Deep in the subtext of such comments is “good mothers abandon their babies to strangers…bad ones keep them, or find them or love them.” I am, therefore, by this trolls POV a bad bad mommy cuz I never got over surrendering her to strangers.

  3. My bad babe, still getting used to ignoramuses, I guess I just have a tough time suffering with fools…
    And we both know that’s a load of crap, you’re a terrific mother!!!

  4. That was an adopter, threatened and jealous of the natural mother of their own coveted adoptee, so they feel the need to berate, denounce and “correct” all natural mothers.
    There is no doubt about that.

    It isn’t “disrespectful” at all, for them to come here or any first mother blog and denounce our truths? It absolutely is and it makes me sick. They are not content or happy with just coveting someone else’s child. They have to have complete and utter control, right down to attempting to use their manipulative skills in regards to how natural mothers express themselves about how the loss of THEIR child has effected them.

    They are terrified that their adoptees may actually feel the same pain at being separated from their mothers and natural families, because they were supposed to get all the love and loyalty for themselves. The thought that they may have to share that love and loyalty makes them crazy with jealousy and possessiveness, of SOMEONE ELSE’S CHILD. I will never understand the cold-hearted,selfish greed these people are capable of.

    Get a life TROLL and face the facts. Your happiness came at the expense and misery of another woman and her family. Look in the mirror every day and know that. I highly suspect you already do; hence your need to further degrade and attempt to control how other people express themselves and speak their truth…

    • Stephanie – Based on the usual spewing in adoption, I can see how you might suspect an adopter. There word choice is interesting, their presumed knowledge of me, their judgements, etc. Its curious but not something to get upset about.; As noted, ignorance and judgement like this is seen all over adoption blogs, reform, etc. I find it best to not invest too much energy into these types. I did however post so that others could see what is out there and be wary. This anon person, came via adoption.alltop.com, left a bogus email and routed through an ISP in France. If they wanted me to take them seriously, respect their POV, they would have been above board with their identity. This cloaking of themselves is also curious. I find most outspoken adopters don’t feel the need to do that.

      • Suz, I agree most of parents who adopted don’t hide. The ones who hide usually say much more vile stuff, I’ll freely admit that some have/do.

        It does seem like someone who has experience with you but only through here and from reading these pages. It doesn’t seem like someone who actually knows you in any depth. You see the distinction? I think it is someone who has read here a great deal but hasn’t interacted with you much, perhaps someone with an IP location that would be easily recognizable.

        The last line is pretty weak and it isn’t even logical. Their “issue” is with you blogging, which that’s their right to take issue (theoretically) but I don’t see how that connects to letting her go. They could ask you to make your thoughts private, to stop blogging about her, to stop blogging but none of those mean letting go of her. That’s one helluva leap to make.

        This reads like someone who hasn’t processed their own overwhelming feelings, from whatever part of the triad.

  5. right now, i don’t know what to say . . . there is just so much wrong with those comments.

  6. Big Hugs to you Suz!. What a pathetic, clueless twit this individual is that they feel this arrogant little message is appropriate. You have every right in the world to express your feelings on your own blog about your adoption experience and your feelings about your daughter. Someone seems a tad bit threatened by your honesty about an issue which should be none of their business. Or do they think it is their business? It’s just crazy that someone can be so stupid, rude and childish!

  7. Don’t you just love it when a complete stranger tries to tell you how to run your own life?

    I’m glad you didn’t let this twithole get to you.

    • Elizabeth – Seriously, I know. Right? I seriously cannot stop chuckling over that last line “If you love her you will let her go?”. Uh, yeah, right. Thats what got me into this mess.

  8. “If you really loved her you would let her go.”

    That does sound very adoption social worker-y or anti-reunion therapist-y to me too but I doubt it is first hand, meaning I suspect the comment was probably left by an adoptee. Adoptive parents do tend to identify themselves.

    Anti-reunion workers and therapists load these messages of guilt on anyone who dares to question the beautiful adoption mythology. Saying to an adoptee – your mother wouldn’t want to meet you be if she really loved you or vice versa either directly or indirectly is designed to do nothing but protect the AP’s interests and induce guilt in the adoptee and/or mother.

  9. Yeah, I got that line too! It must be included in all the adoption scripts. What a sham!

  10. Reminds me of the promise made when I surrendered my son. “You’ll go on and have children you can keep.” Excuse me? Why couldn’t I keep this one? And I’m supposed to just forget this little blip in my life? I wonder what this twit would say to mothers like me who never had more children. Not like that makes a difference. No mother ever forgets a child she gave birth to. Later children don’t make up for previously lost ones. DANG! Suz, I’m glad you didn’t let this BS get to you.

    • It really doesnt get to me but as noted, years ago, it did. The sentiments, the callousness, say far more about the sender than they do about me. Additionally, that type of ignorance is not unheard of in adoption. In fact, it is faced all the time by those of who dare to challenge the sacred cow known as the American Adopion Industry.

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