Remember Homey D. Clown from the Wayans show titled “In Living Color”? Homey had a catchphrase that later became popular. The phrase was “Homey don’t play that game.” I have no recollection of what game Homey was referring to or what was actually meant by the phrase yet it came to me this week when I encountered something strange online.
A week or so ago I was followed on twitter by someone unknown to me. Not that unusual of course, happens all the time. So often in fact, i generally don’t even pay much attention. I tend to review and weed my twitter followers on a quarterly basis and use tools like twitblock. For some reason, this new follower’s name struck me and I decided to check him or her out.
Imagine my surprise when I discover the follower is the grown child of a mother I know from online life and adoption blog. The grown child is close to my own age and has been in reunion with mother for close to half their life. It is apparently, not going well.
Twitter follower had screens of tweets, clearly directed at mother, and let me say, they were not nice. It was the equivalent of a tantrum, only on twitter.
Reading through the tweets made my stomach turn and my heart ache for the adult adoptee and the first mother. The tone was so angry, so hurtful. After reading the diatribe, i could not help but wonder WHY would this person follow me? What was the point? Adoptee clearly has major issues with mother, a woman I know, like and respect. Was the adult adoptee now turning their rage against me because I was friendly with mom, perhaps because I am one of those slutty abandoners?
I could come up with no good reason for this person to follow me. It felt really ugly to me and I grew concerned that I was being used as a pawn, or pulled into some sick psychological warfare between mother and child. At a minimum I was being targeted by a very very angry adult adoptee for reasons known only to them.
I blocked the follower and I wrote my friend and informed her of what I had seen and done. I made it very clear I do not get into triangles and as such would be blocking her angry child and will not correspond with the adoptee. My relationship is with her. I don’t even know her child (well, I do know but not in any good way). Not surprisingly, mother had no idea that this twitter feed was out there.
I cannot give more details, for I would be violating privacy and such, but I do want to make it very clear I don’t play games like this and I do my best not to step into other peoples trauma. I know other people who triangulate and get some sort of kick out of getting involved in the drama of other peoples lives. I don’t. I have a hard enough time handling my own.
It should come as no surprise that the adult adoptee appears to have since deleted their twitter stream. However, it is not gone. All readers should keep this in mind. There is a utility called snapbird that performs much like archive.org does for websites. Go to snap bird, put in a twitter name (active or not) and you will be presented with the past tweets of the indicated twitter name.
I cannot say any more without giving away identifying details of the mother. I will reiterate, one more time, that “Homey don’t play that game”.